Death by Life / Book Eight / The Life Series / Supernatural

Blade Runners

I walked into the bunker's library to see Sam and Dean researching at the tables, trying to make a call. "Come on, Crowley. Pick up. Where the hell is he? It's not like he's got a social life."

Dean looked up. "You sound mad."

"No, I'm not mad," I told them. "I'm... I don't know what I am."

I got Crowley's voicemail. "Too busy inflicting pain to answer. Leave a message."

I hung up in annoyance. "Guy's got one job. Find the first blade, bring it back. How hard is that?"

"It's Crowley," Sam told us. "He's not exactly a team player."

"Yeah, but his ass is on the line, too," I told them. "He goes missing for weeks on end without a peep? Well, not one that makes sense, anyway. Listen to this."

I set my phone on the table, playing a voicemail on speaker.

"Vanessa, um... "

Crowley rambled on indecipherably.

I nodded in annoyance, shaking my head.

"Wait a second," Sam told me, confused and amused. "Did he... drunk-dial you?"

I gestured aimlessly, sighing, picking up my phone, making another call. "Come on."

        ~~~~~~~~    

We stood in the middle of a crossroads after dark.

Sam was burying the box to summon the crossroads demon.

Dean finished the spray-painting a giant devil's trap around us.

I looked at Sam. "All right, do it."

Sam took a deep breath. "Daemon, esto subiecto voluntati meae."

We looked around.

Snooki appeared, with red eyes. "Winchesters."

Sam, Dean and I were startled.

"I--is that, uh..." Sam trailed off.

"Well, that explains a lot," Dean told us.

Snooki let her eyes return normal, brushing her hair back.

"Okay, uh, look, Snooki," I told her. "Can I call you 'Snooki'?"

"No," Snooki answered. "It's Nicole now."

"Okay, then, Nicole," I told her. "We can do this one of two ways. The easy way, you talk. Or the easier way." I took out Ruby's knife. "You still talk. I vote for number two."

"We just want some basic information on Crowley," Sam told her. "That's it."

"Google him," Snooki told us. "Are we done?" I walked toward her with the knife raised. "Whoa. Not the face. Are you crazy? Listen, guys, what happens in Hell stays in Hell. I got nothing."

"But you do have a pretty sweet deal with Crowley in charge," Dean told her. "If Abaddon wins, you can kiss all that goodbye."

Sam nodded. "All the fancy cars, the book deals."

"Show biz can be tough," Dean told her.

"I'm doing fine, thanks," Snooki told us.

"Oh, well, good luck landing your next gig inside a devil's trap," I told her.

Snooki sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Where is Crowley?" Sam asked.

"Last time I heard, he was somewhere in the western Pacific," Snooki told us.