Typically Imperfect

Chapter 17- Typically Imperfect

The sun’s optimistic rays of light were seeping through my jeeps thin windows giving me the full effect of todays heat. It didn’t help that I was already sweating from the swell of nervousness I felt from yesterday’s events.

I came home expecting my mom to be there making dinner as she always does when I come home from work. It was odd to come home to a silent house after weeks of seeing my mom there. My gut told me to call her and demand that she come home right now, but who am I to tell my mom that? Instead I left her to sort through her own torn feelings about dad’s confessions.

I still don’t know how I feel about what he had told me. After years of thinking he had left us high and dry, I find it hard to see the truth in his story. But then I think about Lorna and Xander’s complicated life and see reason in it. I find it unsettling to not be able to fully trust my own father but given the situation I think it’s best if I get to the bottom of it in my own way.

In-your-face confrontation. That ‘s how I would solve all my problems. I would find Xander, demand that he take me to his mother and resolve all of this in a matter of minutes. At least that’s how I saw it in my head. In actuality I was still sitting in my jeep shitting bricks at the thought of confronting anyone, even if it is just Xander.

The last two times I’ve talked to him it ended in mixed emotions. I think that because of my dad’s recent heart attack I’m keener on forgiving him and asking him what’s really wrong with him. But at the same time I don’t want him to think that I pity him. So instead I’ll keep my distance and slowly worm my way back into his life whether he likes it or not.

I turn off my engine and the gentle morning greetings replace my blaring music. The sound of the trees swaying in the mauka winds soothes some of my nerves. I get out of my car and slowly make my way to my first class.

Has it really been only twenty-four hours since I’ve been here? My body has been through an emotional roller coaster and as much as I’d like to skip I know better than to waste my hard earned money on a class that I had signed up for.

As soon as I open the heavy door to my class and walk to the middle stairway I hear heavy thuds sounding closer and only have enough time to put down my bag before I get sacked like a quarterback who wasn’t paying attention. It’s a struggle to get air back into my system after Lia let’s go of her death grip on me.

“Ohmygodisyourdadokay?Areyouokay?” Lia said in a rush.

“Yes. He is fine. I am also doing well thank you.” I say in an overly slow voice as I narrowly avoid her slap. I laugh as she pouts, “Shut up Kate, you know I’m just worried about you.”  

“I know, it’s just that you get so worked up its hard not to make fun of you.” I calm down and answer more seriously, “My dad’s fine actually. I found out that he had a heart attack but he woke up soon enough. We hashed out a lot of stuff, but I’ll tell you more about it later.” I whispered the last part just noticing how quiet the class had gotten.

For once Lia just nodded and turned to go to her seat. I was met with another crushing hug and my eyes looked up to see Gabriel giving me a warm smile. All of the awkwardness of yesterday’s conversation evaporated.

“How’s your dad?” Gabriel gave my back a soothing rub before he let go and sat down next to me.

“He’s fine…actually more than fine. He’s too healthy for a man that just suffered from a heart attack.” I joked thinking of his new determination to be a better father figure.

Gabriels glacier colored eyes filled with laughter, “So I’m taking it all is well with the family.”

My mood dampened at the thought of my mom, who still hadn’t returned home or called. “Not really. There’s a lot of things that need to be fixed, but it’s getting better.” I gave Gabriel my own warm smile. “Thanks for trying to help yesterday, I just…I wasn’t having a good day.”