Do I Mean Anything To You? | Ianthony [Book 1] (Under Major Editing)

Chapter 3, Ian's awake?

Anthony's POV.

It's been a week since Ian was admitted to the hospital, for trying to kill himself. He's made slight progress, but he hasn't woken up yet. I'm starting to feel depressed. I need Ian's smile back. I need his laugh. I've been by his bedside ever since I was allowed to visit. I've never left. Kalel walked in with my water bottle.

"Here you go Anthony. Want anything else?" She gave me my cold water bottle and smiled.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks Kalel." I said, taking the cap off my water bottle. I took a sip, feeling the cooling sensation in my throat.

"Anthony, you've been missing out on our time together. Ian's going to be fine. Please, come spend some time with me? I miss us." Kalel said, sitting on my lap. I stared at her, like a hawk. She sighed and hopped off.

"I'm sorry Kalel. I just want to be here for Ian when he wakes up. I hope you under-"

"I understand Ant. I'd be the same, if my bestfriend tried to commit sucide over hate." I smiled, knowing I can count on Kalel to pull me through.

"Hey Kalel. I'm going to try and get some sleep. Wake me up if Ian wakes up, please?" I asked, yawning. My eyes started to close, and before drifting off into a deep sleep, I heard a soft "Of course." From Kalel. I felt like I had a blanket over me, to keep me warm.

"Night Ant." Kalel said, before I fell asleep.

"Anthony?" A soft voice said. I yawned and opened my eyes. I saw Kalel asleep, and Ian awake.

"Ian?!" I said and jumped up.

"Hey Ant." He softly said, smiling. "Ian! You're awake!" I looked over at Kalel, she yawned and opened her eyes. "Oh no. Sorry Kalel." I said, walking over to her, and giving her a hug.

"It's okay Anthony. I understand why you're so worked up. Ian's awake. Hey Ian!" She said, breaking our hug. She walked over to Ian, and hugged him aswell. I smiled.

"So, mate. I have a question.." I asked Ian. Kalel was out of the room, getting some food.

"I know what you're going to say Ant. Why'd I try to kill myself." I nodded,

"Why did you? If Kalel and I had of come later, We would of lost you." Ian looked down at his fingers, that he was fiddling with.

"Well..." He started. "I was ging through twitter, my mentions actually. Most of the mentions I get, or got were hate. Saying to kill myself, and to just end it all. So, I thought. Why don't I? None would care, that's why I got told to kill myself, right?" I wiped a tear that was falling from my eye.

"Ian.. We could of talked about this. We could of handled it. Instead it ended in you, trying to kill yourself and-" He cut me off.

"Anthony. You're like, perfect. Every Smosher loves you. I'm just Ian. An Ian that gets hate, because of the way I look, the way I talk, the way I laugh. I get hate because of how I act. Anthony, try being in my shoes for once." With that, he turned the opposite side of me, and didn't say a thing.

"Ian. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being this perfect and everyone loving me. I wish they'd love you too. Like, you're my bestfriend. I can't ditch my bestfriend. I'll tell the Smoshers, that you get too much hate. I'll-"

"Don't Anthony. They'll cause more trouble. I'll get more hate, and Eventually, You'll find me dead, on the bathroom floor. And, Instead of laughing on a video for IanH, It'd be of you crying." I sighed, he's right. But in some way, I wish I could help him. I thought for a moment.

Is there something, Ian isn't telling me?