Yogwarts

Top teachers of the wizard world

-Lysander Scamander
As another educational year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry comes to a close, you may be wondering if your magical child should attend a school with such an infamous history. To better educateThe Quibbler's readers, our reporters have interviewed the staff and students of Hogwarts to shed some light on the teachers your children might study under.

Professor Lewis Xephos, Defense Against the Dark Arts, head of Gryffindor house. Although most students can vouch for his short temper and thrill seeking outbursts, being downright giddy during lessons dealing with more dangerous spells or creatures, almost all students regardless of house describe him as a very intelligent and caring teacher, often going to him for help or advice rather than the headmaster. In the Gryffindor commons room, rumors fly left and right about Professor Xephos's adventures, him being an ex-auror. More rumors fly speculating that he draws his impressive magical power from his elven father while others say it is from his pureblood mother, he says however that he got his power from his determination and experience. Because of his heritage one of his most striking features is his glowing eyes, a trait often given to those with partial elven ancestry. When we asked students about his patronus, several commented that a bumblebee would be all but useless in battle, but a select few teachers who have seen it fight a group of dementors say it is very effective and praise its maneuverability. With his fighting spirit and quickness to help others, it's no wonder that Professor Xephos made it to the Head of Gryffindor.

Professor Simon Honeydew, Ancient Runes, Gryffindor. Though Ancient Runes was a notoriously dull class when it was taught by Professor Grizwold, students say that Professor Honeydew really brings the class to life. The eccentric professor also functions as the groundskeeper of Hogwarts and is sometimes known to assist some troublemaking students by telling them some of the more secluded areas in the grounds. He is known to boast that he has such an easy time teaching the class because it is one of the root languages for Dwarfish. Being one of the first recorded wizard dwarves in history, Professor Honeydew is somewhat of a celebrity in the school, as well as one of only two teachers without human lineage. We inquired about his days as an auror, him being partnered with Professor Xephos at the time, but he refused to give an answer, saying that he suffered hardships he would rather not discuss. When we asked students about his patronus, everyone said that he enjoys showing the corgi to first and second years, and he even named it Mandrew. Admittedly not the brightest of Hogwarts's staff, Professor Honeydew is always prepared to help a student in need.

Professor Kimberly Nanosound, Divination, Gryffindor. Despite her small stature and kind voice, nearly all her students and co-workers described her akin to a Hungarian Horntail, with a temper quicker and hotter than fire. But when you catch her in a good mood and manage to keep her that way, she is a very caring, friendly, and loyal person, not to mention an animal lover. She is friends with most of her students and her relationships with other teachers vary from steadfast friends to bitter rivals. Despite going to the wizarding school Mahoutokoro in Japan, she has always wanted to teach at Hogwarts. In the kitchens, she runs a small cafe named "Nano's Noodle Brewery" which runs entirely on enchanted cookware if your child elects not to use house elf staffed kitchens. In divination she is very skilled because she uses her "seeing eye", her right eye which has been overtaken by flux, to divine instead of developing her powers through practice. When asked about her patronus Professor Nanosound said she is very fond of her Red Panda and summons it frequently for entertainment. Another talent she has is being both an animagus and a metamorphmagus, being able to shift into a wolf, still with flux markings, and is able to sprout red, dragon-like wings from her back. All in all, Professor Nanosound is a passionate, if eccentric, member of the Hogwarts staff.

Professor Duncan Lalna, Arithmancy, Head of Ravenclaw house. Although eccentric and at times immature, Professor Lalna is one of the brightest teachers Hogwarts has ever had. Being raised by two muggle parents, he has an infatuation with both muggle science and wizard magic, and has a home in Germany specifically made for science. Although his desire to combine the two has got him in trouble over the years, such as an accident involving Professor Proasheck in the WHIMS program, and the flux infection both he and Professor Nanosound have, which he spends most of his free time investigating. He became fast friends with Professor Nanosound after she replaced Madame Nubescu in Divination, them having much in common. Like her, his class involves predicting the future, he has an animagi of a wolf and is a metamorphmagi, and often uses this talent to grow fairy-like wings. Many students and teachers are very fond of Lalna's patronus, a cat he often calls Tiddles. Though his place as head of Ravenclaw does have some competition in the house, given his class's marks it seems to be a well deserved title.