Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 24: Just Give Me A Reason

Chapter 24

I stared down at an impossibly beautiful baby girl. Her hair was blond and she had incredible blue eyes--apparently just like mine-- that were as wide as a baby's could get. She--yet to have a name--was born on March 16, 2013 at 3:13, one day after the state game.

The day after the state championship, which I didn't finish. The day after the state game that we won --without me.

My parents came up with this "genius" idea that I should name her. Really? I'm an eighteen year old girl who has boy issues and mommy and daddy issues, I really don't have time to worry about naming a life. To start off with, I had no clue what to name her. I wanted it to be unique, but not too unique to where people would ask if her parents were dopers. I also was leaning towards something of meaning, something that meant something to someone.

"The Duncan's are here." My dad quietly said, peeking his head into my bedroom door. He looked at 'her' with longing eyes.

"Give her to me, you're hogging her. I haven't held her in forever."

I gently laughed, trying to prevent any movement. Lord know's we wouldn't want another crying episode.

"Dad, you just held her like fifteen minutes ago."

He shrugged his shoulders, then began walking towards 'her' and me.

"Were you this in love when I was born?" I asked.

"No, you weren't as cute as she is." He dabbed her nose with his finger, then kissed her on the top of her head.

I rolled my eyes.

"I was adorable."

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

He left the room with her, the hardwood creaking below his feet.

I took a deep breath, expecting Jaxon to enter my room any second. I texted him earlier, telling him that we needed to talk. For the first time in weeks he texted back.

"Don't do anything stupid." I heard my dad say to Jaxon I assumed.

"Yes sir." The familiar voice answered.

I closed my eyes, thinking over how much my life had changed since I'd met Jaxon.

I had never even thought about not going to Baylor, because everyone always told me I had a good shot at it, but Baylor was off my radar, and I was off theirs.

I also didn't think that Jordan Dunlap would be someone I enjoyed talking to, or even my acquaintance for that matter.

I didn't think that my relationship with Jaxon Duncan--the biggest player I knew-- would work out, which really wasn't now that I think about it.

Never in a million years did I think that I would have a sibling, especially when I was legally an adult.

I didn't think my parents would be getting divorced either, but life doesn't turn out the way you expect it does it?

I stood up from my desk chair and moved to my bed.

A gentle knock hit against my door which was already partly open.

Jaxon appeared. He ducked his head when he came through the doorway, which seemed tiny compared to his large build. He closed the door behind him.

"Leave it open!" My dad shouted up from the bottom of the stairway.

Jaxon swung the door back open, a grin on his face.

"He really doesn't trust us does he?"

I shushed him.

"He'll hear you."

He cleared his throat, his face suddenly going pale.

His blue eyes searched mine, what was he searching for? I had no clue, and I got the feeling that he really didn't know either.

"So what's all this about?" He questioned.

He sat down next to me on my bed. The bed sank under his weight.

"I really shouldn't have to tell you."

He sighed, then started staring up at the ceiling. I looked upward to see if there was something to actually stare at, but it was just my plain old white ceiling. Great. This was going to be one of those awkward encounters where no one is saying anything,or really knows what to say.

He scratched his arm. I caught a glimpse of something. I reached out and grabbed his arm to examine.

"You got a tattoo of your sister's name?" I questioned him.

Brooke was painted on his skin in twisty, loopy letters. I didn't say anything else.

"I am dreading doing this." I said after a moment of silence.

"Then don't even say it."

I clenched my fists.

"You can't keep avoiding it. To be honest I don't even know what you're avoiding. But I'm really getting tired of it." I said to him, trying not to raising my voice, but was unsuccessful.

He looked down from the ceiling at me with raised eyebrows.

"Listen, I am going to give you an option, and I don't want to be interrupted, just let me talk. You can say something when I'm done, but listen for now."

Confusion.

"Getting in that crash was bad. Almost as bad as me not getting to finish my last game as a senior. But that wasn't as hard as not getting into Baylor. Being hated by you for the past three weeks was just icing on the cake."

"Sam I-" He interrupted

''I'm talking remember? I talk, you listen."

He simply nodded.

I took in a deep breath.

"I'm giving you an out. If you want to call it quits I'm fine with that. Clean get away, no hard feelings. If you want a break from us, from this, fine by me. Getting treated like crap without a reason, I'm not fine with that."

"But Sam-"

"Let me fucking talk." I yelled.

I heard the baby begin to whale. Great. I just started World War III.

"I've been through a lot of shit, and I really needed you these past weeks, and I honestly, even though I don't want to admit it, think you knew that. When I was laying out on that court, scared to death, your dad told me that you got a football scholarship to Mizzou. I was dying, and all I could think about was that my boyfriend got a scholarship to Mizzou, and he didn't even bother to tell me about. So after graduation you can go there, and I'll got to what ever college wants me. If there even is one."

He opened his mouth to speak, but then decided against it. His mouth just hung there open, not even moving to stop the drool in the corner of his mouth.

"Just give me a reason, that's all I need to reconsider. Or you could keep your secret. Clean get away, no hard feelings or whatever."