Wildfire (A Katy Perry and John Mayer FanFiction)

Through It All

All I could see was fuzzy lines, it was like a blur. I couldn't focus, I couldn't think, I felt like I couldn't breathe.

But then there it was. Her car was a few feet in front of mine, crashed into the side of a large trailer truck. Small shards of glass covered the ground, her windshield was shattered, it was a mess. And I just sat there, watching as the truck driver hopped out of his tuck and rushed over to Katy's car. He pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket, looking panicked and confused.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the constant nagging of my mind, wondering if she was okay or not. But I knew in the back of my mind that she wasn't. Something bad happened to her and I was the cause of it. Oh god What would Angela think? What would her fans thing? Would her family ever forgive me?

"Katy!" I yelled, pushing myself out of my car and running over to the accident. The man was still on his cell phone, describing what happened and where we were to the person on the other line. "Katy. Katy." I repeated to myself, trying to find her body in the large mess surrounding us.

Then I saw her. The window shield had shattered into pieces, resulting in it crashing down on her. Her body was bloody and looked blue. She didn't even have a seatbelt on. She was so upset with me that she didn't pay attention, and lost control.

"Do you know this woman?" A paramedic asked me from behind. I looked up at him with worried eyes as I found katys hand and squeezed it tightly in mine. But I didn't answer him. I kneeled down in front of her and cried into her lap. "Sir you're going to have to step away from her." He said, lifting me out of the way.

"No you don't understand that's my girlfriend!" I shout as multiple men placed her onto the gurney in front of the ambulance.

"Well then get in! We have to go immediately."

With that said I hopped in and sat on the bench while they placed the gurney into the ambulance. Multiple paramedics sat on both sides of her, comforting her and telling her a bunch of bullshit that would only be logical if it was coming out of my own mouth.

That's when I let out a loud sob and lost it. For all I know this could be the end. This could be the end of us. This could be the end of her life. I was mortified. This was the worst possible situation that could ever happen. This is what was in my nightmares. I got on my knees and waited for a paramedic to say something so I could just slap them across the face and pretend this never happened. I started the fight. I'm always the cause of every little fight or argument and I hate it. Seeing her like this when I know in the long run its all my fault is just heartbreaking. How am I going to be able to even function when I know my girl friend is hurt? How am I going to hold her at night and tell her how much I love her? I know this isn't at all about me, but I can't lose her. Not now. Not ever.

"You're gonna make it, babes. Trust me on this one, okay?" I say in her ear. Grasping her hand and holding it close to my heart. She looked so lifeless, with her oxygen mask covering her mouth and her eyelid veins becoming blue and visible. Her face was bloody, covered with cuts and bruises. I didn't want to even look at her, but I figured that if we were gonna do this, we were gonna do it together and I was gonna be there for through it all. But most importantly i wanted her to know that. I didn't want her to feel like I was never there for her. I truly wanted her to know that I wasn't willing to let her go. Ever. No matter how mad I was at her, I didn't want us to split up and fight or argue. It was just stupid.

But the problem was, I wanted everything to be perfect when it obviously wasn't. We both knew that this wasn't working out like we wanted it to be and things got so complicated that this mess happened and I could fell anymore guilty. I just want this to be over. "You're so strong baby, you can do this." I whisper into her hand, pressing my lips against it and warming them up with my breath. "No matter what happens, I'm gonna be here for you, Kate. And whatever is going on in that little head of yours at the moment, just know that I'm here, and I'm not letting you go." I finish, backing away as they pulled her out of the ambulance. We seemed so far away from each other even thought we were just a few feet away. Distance was such a strong feeling, mentally or physically. Now that she wasn't in the the right mind, it felt like we were a rubber band, stretching further and further until we snapped.

If I could wish for one thing, it would be to hear her voice. The previous sound was like music to ears, and I couldn't really live without it.

"Sir? Are you coming?"

I followed them into the hospital doors, staying by Katy's side and not letting go of her fragile hand. They all lifted her onto a hospital bed and rolled her into a hall. "You're going to have to stay out here until we know what's going on. I'm sorry..."

Yeah I was sorry too.

When I realized I loved her I made her a promise; I want ever going to pick fights with her, I was going to protect her, I would never betray her, and I wasn't going to let the slightest bad thing happen to her. But sadly I broke that promise and I don't know if she's ever going to trust me again... This relationship was something that I wasn't ever sure could be fixed if it was destroyed.