Secret Flowers

Unfolding

I was in the hospital for a month. Dad was in a coma for three.

He lost a good chunk of memory after the crash, which included how it happened, but till today he still remembers what I told him.

I managed to convince him not to confront Cal, but I've listened to him rant about "insensitive teenage boys".

"That's why I want you to be careful if you ever date anyone," he tells me regularly. "Stay away from the really popular crowd, they're bad news."

Which is why I stopped trying to be social.

If I hadn't attended the party that night, none of this would've happened. And I write that in the note as well.

Dear Secret Admirer,

I want to meet you, I really do.

But I'm scared of being taunted by the popular group again. I managed the last party because Kayla and Jules stuck to me like glue, but the party I attended before-

I spill out everything: the effort it took to go, Cal, the accident. And all the while, I'm crying. Crying for my dad, crying for my mom, who works all day for us; crying for my brother and Jules, who are so, so worried for me, crying for the others who I care about, like Kayla, Vince, and Max.

Most of all, I'm crying for myself, for all the things I lost.

* * * *

I wake up feeling numb.

I just don't want to do anything anymore. Why me? Why couldn't I have had a normal life?

I sigh. I may be feeling so lost and guilty, but on the outside, I have to act normal. I've done it quite well for the better part of a year, so it's second nature to put on this mask of normality.

When I open the door, the note is there. My heart rate rises, and the note and I are in my bedroom before anyone can blink.

Dear Lauren,

I know all about what happened at the party over a year ago. I was there, and it hurts me every single day that I didn't speak up. I wanted to run after you.

I'm so so sorry

And I know about the accident as well.

On a more positive note, if it wasn't for all of this, I may not have ever written to you. I was unsure of meeting you in person, so I started sending you the notes.

Don't worry about the popular crowd. I'll take care of them.

And you can be sure that by the time I'm done, Daisy and Cal are going to regret ever hurting the person I care about the most.

I will always, always be here for you.

I hope this reassures you that everything is gonna be okay.

Love,
Your Secret Admirer.

All my defences are lowered around this person, the only one I can relax around.

And then I realize: he's right. Without this incident, I wouldn't have ever known about him.

Maybe this is a wake up call for me to start picking up my life. Baby steps, of course, but I want to be stronger. The only one who can make me stronger is myself. I'm still scared, but maybe I can try to be brave.

Dear Secret Admirer,

See you at the dance.

Love,
Lauren.

* * * *

I wonder, how will I know who the person is? It could be anybody!

But it looks like he's a step ahead.

Dear Lauren,

I'm so excited to meet you! When I read your reply I was jumping all around my room. I scared my cousin so much that she wondered if I was okay.

We should have a code word, don't you think so? It'll help you figure out who I am.

Since we're talking a lot about secrets being revealed, what do you think of the code word Unfold?

Time for Lauren to get ready to meet her Secret Admirer!