She Crossed That Bridge

14

At dahil nabanggit niya si Dest, hindi ko maiwasang isipin din siya. Paano kaya kung hindi siya nag-transfer ng school? We could've been good friends dahil kay Helix. I don't know, but Helix has this thing on bringing people closer to me.

I broke out of my trance when he spoke again.

"Where do you want to eat, my friend?" he said, giving an emphasis to the last two words.

Okay? What the hell was that?

***

IT was a nice spot for lunch. I ordered guacamole and brussel sprouts and Helix ordered ceviche and shrimp tacos.

I looked outside where people were eating at their own table. There's both inside and outside seating, which made it good for warmer weather days.

Talagang ang ganda rito sa Vera City. Hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit ito ang lugar na gustong-gustong puntahan ng mga tao.

"How's chemo?" I asked, trying to make a conversation with him.

He flashed me a half smile. "Exhausting and painful." Bakas sa boses niya na gano'n nga ang nararamdaman niya.

Kung ako man ang nasa kalagayan niya, baka hindi ko kayanin.

Napakahirap ng sitwasyon niya. He's too young for all of this. Bakit kailangang siya pa?

"You'll get through this. I know you can," I cheered him up.

He chuckled a little. "You think highly of me. I appreciate that. But I'm not that great, Park."

"Stop calling me Park."

"Essa?"

"Shin!" I yelled in frustration. Why did he keep on giving me weird nicknames? I preferred everybody to call me Shin.

He let out a small laugh, shaking his head. "Alright, alright. Park," he teased me. Impatiently, I rolled my eyes.

"So, how's Pauline?" I asked again. Yeah, I was asking a lot of questions because I really didn't know how to prolong the conversation.

"I don't know, and I don't want to know."

"Why's that?"

"This may sound a little weird but—when I started getting treatments for cancer, a lot of things came to my mind." Amusement crossed his face.

"Like what?"

"Like . . . ayaw kong mamatay na may galit sa 'kin 'yong kapatid ko dahil sa ginawa ko sa kanila ni Pauline."

There's a pause. He's got a point. It's a good thing that he has finally realized that kind of thing. Dest may be a jerk, but he didn't deserve to be cheated on. Nobody deserved that. Not even the worst person on earth.

"Have you talked to Dest?"

He shook his head. "Alam niya naman na niloloko lang siya ni Pauline. He's just . . . in denial. And for the record, he knew that I was the other guy."

Saglit akong natahimik.

I wanted to ask him why he did what he did, but I decided not to. I knew he had his reasons and I knew that there's a special story about him and Pauline, but I also knew that I was not in the right place to dig deeper.

"I want to make it up to him. I want to beg for his forgiveness. But I know my brother too well. He's not that easy."

A curious vexation fretted me. What's so special about Pauline that made the Guatamyel brothers both fall for her?

"Sometimes I wonder if cancer was my karma for betraying my brother." Bitterness creeped into his face. Natahimik ako at tinitigan lang siya sa mga mata.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya.

I flashed him a small smile. "I'm not the most religious person on earth, but I think you need to hear this." I paused. He lifted his face up to look at me.

"You might think of your cancer as a punishment from God, but . . . God doesn't punish people, Helix. He always forgives us. This might sound weird, but I think your cancer was a gift. It's His way to show you that you still have time to make things right."

Saglit siyang natigilan saka malakas na natawa. "A gift?" hindi makapaniwalang sabi niya.

Anger crossed his eyes. "Well, I think you also need to hear this. Fuck you, Shin. You have no idea what you're talking about." He snapped.

And just like that, he walked away.

~

T I A N A V I A N N E