She Crossed That Bridge

05

CHAPTER FIVE

I don't want him near me . . .

LIKE a bubble, Kath disappeared. I won't bother looking for her anyway. I knew she's too busy tailing Zeke.

Hindi ko rin talaga maintindihan kung bakit masyadong nahuhumaling si Kath kay Zeke. Kung kay Nico siya mahuhumaling, maiintindihan ko pa nang sobra. Pero kay Zeke? He's just like the rest of the guys.

I hung out with Nico for a few minutes, tapos no'ng nainip na ako, I told him I'm going to the kitchen to get another drink.

My eyes skimmed over the counter the moment I entered the kitchen and there, I spotted a bottle of vodka.

Once I was done getting another round of drink, I marched to the pool area to cool myself. I was feeling the heat running down my body because I had too much to drink.

Tuwing dumadalo kasi ako sa mga ganitong party, madalas ay hindi rin ako nakaiinom dahil pati iyon ay pinagbabawal sa 'kin ni Gerald.

I watched some seniors have fun with the juniors in the pool area. They were all happy and wasted. May mga naghahalikan pa roon sa gilid kaya napairap ako bigla. Grabe, eh 'di sila na may love life.

Inalis ko ang paningin ko sa mga naghahalikan at naglalandian kaya biglang napadpad ang mga mata ko kay Helix.

It wasn't hard to spot him, though. He's standing on the balcony, so I went upstairs and said hi to him, but I halted when I saw a girl beside him licking his neck.

I scoffed discreetly.

I thought he's different. Pero katulad lang din pala siya ng iba. Ano pa nga bang inaasahan ko?

Now I know where Dest got his skills from getting all the girls he has ever wanted. It runs in the blood.

***

"MS. Park, are you listening?"

I drifted back to reality when Mrs. Veltz spoke. Kanina pa ba siya nagsasalita? Grabe, wala talaga akong narinig!

Nasaang lupalop ba 'yong tainga at utak ko?

"Sorry, Mrs. Veltz. What was that again?" I asked.

Kath, being a staunch friend, raised her hand and volunteered to recite. Nandito man 'yong katawan ko sa classroom, 'yong utak ko naman nasa ibang lugar. Jusko.

Hindi talaga mawala sa isip ko 'yong nakita ko.

So, this was how it felt to watch someone you've fallen in love at first sight, have fun with another girl.

Damn it.

Stop being ridiculous, Shin.

There's no such thing as love at first sight. I was just . . . attracted to him. That's it.

Lumipas ang buong araw ko nang hindi nawawala sa isip ko 'yong imaheng nakita ko no'ng gabing iyon. Bakit ba kailangan ko 'yong makita? Puwede namang hindi ko na lang sila nakita sa gano'ng sitwasyon, eh 'di sana wala akong iniisip ngayon.

Napabuntonghininga ako.

Kung nandito siguro si Dest, paniguradong nasa kanya 'yong atensyon ko dahil sa bad trip ko sa kanya buong araw. May saysay rin naman pala minsan 'yong pambubuwisit ni Dest. 'Yon nga lang, wala na siya ngayon sa paligid ko para sirain ang araw ko.

Pagkauwi ko tuloy sa bahay, naisipan kong i-search si Dest sa Facebook. Ang alam ko, friends naman kami sa Facebook. At least, 'di ba, hindi kami mortal na magkaaway sa social media at hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang ipagpasalamat 'yon. Hindi rin naman kasi ako masyadong nag-o-online dahil mas gusto kong nagbabasa ng mga libro.

Napataas ang kilay ko nang makita kong two years ago pa 'yong huling palit niya ng profile picture. Mukhang tulad ko ay hindi rin siya mahilig gumamit ng social media.

"Pangit mo," gigil na sabi ko saka ko pinalo-palo 'yong screen ng phone ko. Tuwing nakikita ko kasi si Dest ay nanggigigil talaga ako sa inis.

Agad kong binitawan ang phone ko at saka ako umayos ng higa.

Bakit ba hinahanap ko si Dest palagi? Dapat nga ay masaya ako dahil hindi ko na siya nakikita.

***

"WHAT the fuck are you doing?"

Gerald's voice broke me out of my trance and brought my attention back to him.

"I'm eating," I said nonchalantly.

"I'm not blind, sis."

"Then why do you ask?"

"You were torturing the pancakes like they've done something wrong."

"See? Alam mo naman pala kung ano'ng ginagawa ko tapos magtatanong ka pa."

Napataas ang parehong kilay niya kasabay ng dalawang kamay niya. "Alright. Alright. Chill. Ba't ba galit ka lagi?"

"You know why."

Agad na naningkit ang mga mata niya.

"I'm just protecting you," madiin niyang sabi.

"But I don't need your protection, Gerald," I said and left him in the dining room all alone.

Half an hour later, Kath picked me up at the front gate of our house.

"Thanks for picking me up today," I said, and I let out an exaggerated sigh as I put on my seat belt.

"Love you," she replied, flashing me a warm smile. Alam niya agad na hindi ako okay.

And that's why I love her too, always.

***

WE'RE all accommodated at our campus auditorium to watch the performance of the seniors.

"Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be in a same class with the P5," Kath whispered to my ear as she secretly put a gum inside her mouth.

I'm truly grateful for being a junior. Now that Dest is gone, all the P5 are in their senior year, including my brother. Ibig sabihin, malapit na silang mawala lahat sa landas ko.

"Taken?"

I looked up to see who's standing in front of me and there I saw Helix.

"Huh?" wala sa sariling sambit ko. Grabe, nakawawala talaga sa sarili kapag si Helix ang nakikita ko.

"Is this seat taken?" he repeated, pertaining to the vacant seat beside me.

Akmang iiling pa lang sana ako, pero nang maalala ko 'yong nakita ko no'ng nakaraan, agad na naurong ang kilig ko. "Yes," I lied.

Kath pinched my hand discreetly but I didn't mind her.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry," Hel said, walking away from us to find another seat.

Pasensya na. Mas okay nang ako mismo ang lumayo kaysa mas ma-attract pa ako sa kanya. Lugi lang ako.

Why was he not performing? He's a senior; he should be there with them at the stage.

"Bakit ka naman nagsinungaling?" Kath asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"He's a playboy. I don't want him near me."

~

T I A N A V I A N N E