C H A P T E R 33

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Death is not how it says in the movies

There is no music, or last words

Just silence

Such deep, empty silence

C H A P T E R    33

He was in intensive care for two days, and two nights, they said. He didn’t wake up once, slept through it all, slept through his mother’s crying, his father’s tears, slept through the doctor, telling us, telling them, that he probably wouldn’t live, just how long he would survive was what mattered. He didn’t wake as they discussed turning off life support less than three days after the day in the auditorium. He didn’t wake when they did. He just faded. It was seven sixteen in the evening, the machine was turned off at seven ten, and his heart beat on the monitor stuttered, slowed, stopped, his breathing faded, his breath flew with the still air, and the darkness from outside seemed even darker, Jesse said. His mum was hysterical, Jesse said. His father was kneeling, sobbing shamelessly, Jesse said. And there was no music, no last words, or noble sayings to help us all on our way, like in the movies, there was just stone cold silence, Jesse said. Silence that filled your mind, that paralyzed your very being. Silence, except for the soft sobs and sniffs of loved ones.

I think he would have wanted it that way, no sad farewells, or words of comfort, because that was who he was, he was calm, strong, noble, and truly alive, in our memories. He wouldn’t have wanted fancy music, or all that stuff about following the light, just peace.

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