THE GANGSTER'S DIARY

7th Entry

7th Entry

FCK. FCK. FCK!

WHERE THE FCKING HELL DID THEY BRING HER?!

Panic arose through my veins the moment Shane and Nathan told me that Krung-Krung has been "kidnapped" or more likely, "abducted", by SkullBashers. Just what the freaking hell would they do with her?

SkullBashers is one of our rival gangs and honestly, almost our equal in everything. And it's not a secret to the whole campus who Krung-Krung is to our lives. This is just freaking sh^t! Kung hindi lang sana kasi nalaman ng buong campus na kasama namin sa mansion si Krung-Krung, hindi sana siya magiging target ng mga kalaban naming gang. Fck! I have a great guess whose fault is this but I don't have the fcking time to deal with her.

****
"Blake..."

Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa pangalan ko, "Natty..."I called to the person. It was the nickname I gave her.

Inis na napapadyak ito ng paa, "I told you to call me on my nickname!"

"Why would I? It's your real name, right? Why are you so ashamed of it?"kibit-balikat kong sagot dito.

"Hindi ka naman kasi babae kaya hindi mo maiintindihan."inis na angil nito. Geez, I don't have time to deal with this nonsense thing again. Bakit ba kasi hindi na lang niya tanggapin kung anong pangalan niya?

I shrugged, "If you called me just to waste time dealing with these again, I better go ahead as I have some more important things to do."paalis na sana ako nang magsalita ito.

"Is it true that she's living with you?"

Napalingon ako dito. Sino ang tinutukoy nito? Krung-Krung, maybe? But---what the fck?! How did she knew about that?!

"Answer me, Blake. Is it true? I want to hear it from your own lips."

Tumango ako, "Yeah, it is. How the freaking hell did you know about that?"

"Fck! I have my ways, Blake! Pero sino siya para tumira kasama niyo, kasama MO! Kung napipilitan ka lang, tell me. I'll do everything to help you get rid of her! You know I'll do everythi---"

Hindi ko na ito pinatapos pa, "You don't have to. We are the one who offered her to live with us, why would we want to get rid of her? At subukan mong ni hawakan ang dulo ng buhok niya, baka makalimutan kong babae ka."pananakot ko.

I was frozen on my stead when slowly, tears fell from her eyes, "Bla---Blake, bakit ganyan ka na lang kung ipagtanggol siya? Mahal mo na ba siya? May gusto ka ba sa kanya?"

Napaiwas ako ng tingin dito, "I don't know. I'm not even fcking sure. Isa lang ang alam ko, she makes me feel things no one can."

"FCK NAMAN BLAKE EH!"umiiyak na palatak nito, "AKO?! EH ANO AKO SAYO?! SH^T LANG! Ako itong una pa lang, nagmamahal sayo! Bakit hindi mo man lang ako magawang mahalin? Mahirap ba? Tutulungan naman kita ah! Siya, ngayon mo pa lang nakilala pero ako, ilang taon...ilang taon kong hinihiling na mahalin mo din ako!"

I looked away from her. I know. I'm a stupid fcking jerk for doing this to her. She's a good person, I know, and people must think that I'm fcking fortunate to be the person she's in love with...but I just can't. I tried but I just can't bring myself to love her. I guess that's just how that crazy stupid thing called as "love" works. You don't force it. You just fall.

"I'm sorry, Natty. But you already know my answer."

"Tang^^a naman, Blake eh!"palatak nito, "Fine! If that's what you want. Pero hindi pa din ako titigil dito. Call me obsessed but the heck I care! If I need to ruin that stupid Anya's life just for you to fall for me,then I fcking will."

"NATTY!"

She smirked, "Sorry, Blake. You know that I love you and I'll do everything to make you mine. And as they say, never understimate the heart of a scorned woman."after that, she walked away showing a dirty finger to me.

****

"Never understimate the heart of a scorned woman..."

FCK, Natty! Alam ko kasalanan ko, pero bakit kailangang pati siya madamay!

I'll do everything to get her back. But fck, all my life, I have never felt this kind of panic or tension before. And this is just freaking sh^t! Guess, I have fibally found my answer to Natty's question.

Maybe I just don't like her....

Maybe, it's freaking something even more...

-Blake