New life.(Kbtbb Editing)

Chapter 39//Lifeless

Hey guy's quick author note Since I'm back in High school I've been really busy so My update's will usually be on the weekends and sometimes during the week I don't really know I'll try to update twice a week to keep it flowing :-)

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C H A P T E R 3 9//L I F E L E S S 

I jolt awake to a ringing sound in my ear's and tiredly look to the side of me At my ringing alarm clock telling me I had 1 hour and 23 minutes to get up and get ready for work.I roll out of bed robotically and smash my hand down on the annoying ringing alarm clock silencing it.With out a word I push my self of the hard unforgiving bed and head towards the bathroom Blinking the tiredness out of my eyes.

I walk inside and spare a glance at my self through the mirror and instantly frown I looked...Horrible My once pure white hair has turned a dull Blondish color as if the life was sucked right out of it,I had giant bags under my eye's from lack of sleep and My eye color was the worst of all.It remains a Dull dull Gray it just looks so lifeless.It's been Four day's Since I've Walked away from Eisuke Four miserable Exhausting days.

I hang my head lower and swallow hard I couldn't even stand to look at my reflection anymore the cut on my calf has been healing steadily but I'm sure that it'll leave a nasty scar.I put my hand over my chest feeling my heart beat Slowly and I close my eye's slightly just imagining how wonderful it would be if it stopped.I actually felt as if I had nothing left to live for I haven't seen Faith in forever My mom is gone My dad Is gone But still living somewhere,Eisuke left me.

Honestly Is there anything left to live for?It could be so Easy Just a couple pill's too many or an 'Accidental' Tumble off the roof of the hotel and my existence would be Gone I would be a memory and worst part is No one is left so no one would care I would be just another Suicide.That though settled in my stomach and suddenly I started to feel sick...Very sick I rush over to the toilet and kneel down Throwing open the lid.Vomit raised from my throat and I was forced to let it out Since I haven't Eaten in a awhile I was basically dry-heaving.

After I was done I sat back on my heels shaking slightly tears running down my face It Really hurts To dry-heave.I frown slightly and wipe my mouth with the back of my pale hand I've been throwing up a lot lately mostly from over thinking and To say the truth I hated it.I hated being so weak,I hated Eisuke for everything,I hated my mom for leaving me,I hated my sister for not being there for me,Most of all I hated Me I couldn't stand to even talk anymore I was so disgusted with my self for everything.

It take's a lot to hate yourself thats what everyone says But that right there is a lie Im pretty sure That it could take one mistake and you could hate yourself.

I shake off everything and start getting ready.

~At the hotel~

I hated working here now but it was a good distraction from everything It was easy to forget everything and just work.

I passed by Erica looking ahead of myself lifelessly,I could feel her intense glare burning into me but I ignore her and take in a deep breath.That's when I could hear her whisper to her little lapdogs right next to her "Look's like someone finally out her in her place To be honest I mean really what did she expect She's not even that pretty why would he keep her?" I stop walking and turn my head behind my shoulder and look at her My face blank.

I could see all hint of amusement vanish from her face and she slightly backs up looking slightly scared.I blink twice at her My face still blank.I could give a shit anymore.

I blink one more time and turn my head back to the front of me and continue walking to my next room That I need to clean My hand's limply at my side's.A swarm of people where in the lobby I try to push past them just wanting to get to my next room and get it done.I make my way to the front of the crowd relieved I finally made it through the mob of people but that relief washes away and I freeze to my spot.