The Stars in the Sky

Chapter 33: Doghouse

"You didn't come to me so I figured I'd come to you."

The mattress dipped as Will sat on my bunk next to me, dressed, wearing boots and his green trucker hat. He was so big, he totally dominated my little, twin bed, sleeping space.

It was early morning. Cookie's triangle hadn't rung yet. I was sleepy, bleary-eyed, and completely out of it. Janine and Stephanie were still asleep; one of them was gently snoring.

"We gotta talk about this shit. Figured I'd give you time. But I don't like you in here and not in my bed with me."

I sat up in the bottom bunk and looked at him, blinking. This early, it was hard not to stare at him. He really was gloriously handsome, with his deep brown eyes looking concerned. He handed me a cup of coffee, which I took, silently.

"Take the time you need, Marie, but don't shut me out. Don't stay here tonight, stay with me," he said gruffly.

He got up off the mattress and started to walk to the door.

"Wait," I blurted. He paused, his hand on the door jamb.

"Yeah?"

"I'll stay with you tonight."

He nodded and took off down the hall, the sound of the clomping of his boots getting quieter as he got farther away.

"And maybe every night for the rest of my life," I whispered.

I took a sip of the coffee and it was very good, and I thought about how I had blown up at Will for using the word "pussy." I think that I had been in a weird mood and was looking for an excuse to get mad at him.

Maybe I needed to stop thinking of excuses to get mad at him and start thinking of reasons to be with him. I knew that I had never been with anyone like him; he was so in to me and he didn't care who knew or who saw. But identifying how I felt about him? That would require some honesty with myself that I wasn't sure I was ready for. I knew that I was attracted to him on a lot of levels. And I knew that it was growing stronger. And I knew that he was more complicated than I allowed him to be. I had given in and was calling him my boyfriend. We were together now. But admitting to myself how I felt about him? I still couldn't do it.

Then the triangle rung. I got out of bed, showered, dressed, and walked to the chow hall for breakfast.

Will was already in there with Jimmy, eating pancakes and bacon. I made some instant oatmeal, added some dried fruit and agave, and joined them, sitting next to Will and brushing up against him on purpose. He responded by wrapping his arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze.

I don't know if all was forgiven, on either side. All I knew was that I liked being next to him, and he made me feel cared for and comfortable when he wasn't pissing me off.

Will and Jimmy were discussing some maintenance around the ranch that needed to be done.

"You know Al Gore gets a dollar for every compact fluorescent light bulb that's sold in the U.S.A.," said Jimmy.

Will laughed. "As much as I'd like to believe that, I don't think it's true. That's probably some internet shit. Some bulbs cost less than a buck. And I think they'll save us some cash down the line. We might want to get LEDs, though. The prices are coming down."

So Will could think independently from the party line. I knew he had a brain; I was glad to see that he used it.

A little while after breakfast, two vans pulled up with the kids, six boys from ages nine to fourteen, from the ASD program, along with their parents and therapists. Although I had a little experience with working with kids who had autism, specifically a child in the progressive preschool I used to work at, I honestly was a little bit nervous about the upcoming week. I was hoping that the kids would have some new experiences around the animals and living on the farm and my fondest hope was that there would be a connection forged, somehow, somewhere, with something or someone.

Stephanie and the therapists were also going to work with the children on a special equine therapy that they had been trained in, called "hippotherapy." The therapists were going to use the movement of the horses to aid the children in doing specific things, like touching their ears, to help them in experiencing more through their senses. There was something about engaging the muscles while riding that helped. While my research online suggested that it wasn't a proven treatment method, I thought that it would be a good experience for the children: it was beneficial for any child to be around fresh air and animals, especially docile, trained animals. My job this week was more in the background, because we were following some specific therapeutic protocols.

As the children got off the van, most of them milled around, but the oldest-looking boy, jean-clad, cute, gangly, with brown hair and brown eyes, came right up to me and said, looking at my shoulder, struggling to make eye contact, "Hello. My name is Charles. What is your name? I have high functioning Asperger's and my father tells me to introduce myself to every adult I meet." And he shook my hand firmly, looking at my ear. I could tell that he had been told to introduce himself and make eye contact and he just couldn't. I fell instantly for him. What a sweetie.

I smiled at him and said, "Nice to meet you Charles. Thank you for introducing yourself. My name is Marie."

And then I relaxed a little bit. This was a good start. Gathering everyone around me, I introduced myself and the wranglers, and Stephanie took over for an overview of the hippotherapy we were going to do. Then I helped to get everyone situated in the bunkhouse.

After we gave everyone time to get unpacked and comfortable in the bunkhouse, we gathered out front of the bunkhouse to go meet the horses.

As we waited, I noticed that one younger boy named Travis was particularly rambunctious, running around the area in front. But then Will walked over with Trixie and when Travis saw Trixie, he immediately went over to her and started petting her head and she wagged her tail and licked him.

I thought of something. "Will, how come you didn't dock Trixie's tail. Don't most Australian Shepherds have a docked tail?"

"Some do, some don't. Couldn't cut her tail for vanity. Seemed pretty stupid."

My heart cracked open a little bit more. Will wouldn't hurt a dog.

Travis's mother came over to me, and said, "Can the dog stay around him? He opens up around animals and..." She trailed off, looking close to tears.

I reached over and squeezed her hand. "Of course. I think that Will can spare Trixie for a little bit."

"'Course," he said warmly. "She'll love the attention. He can spend as much time with her as she wants. She'll be happy to stay out of the doghouse."

"She doesn't sleep in the doghouse and you know it," I said, chiding him and giving him a gentle shove on his chest.

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "She was in the doghouse with me last night and we're not gonna do it again."

For some reason, this made me warm all over. He put a hand on my bicep, squeezed it, and he took off, loping to the barn.