Learn to Change. / L.H

20 / Maddie

"Hey" I said as Luke came over to me with another boy. He looked older than Luke and I could see a few small similarities between them. I recognised him but couldn't figure out why. We were stood outside the church for my brother's funeral. The boy Luke was with hung back whilst Luke talked to me.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Not great"

"It was kind of a stupid question for me to ask"

"Again, thanks for coming. You didn't even know my brother"

"It's fine" He paused. "But I kind of did know him. He was best friends with my brother. I spoke to him like twice, so I guess I know of him more than actually knowing him" That was why I recognised the boy with Luke. He was Luke's brother and James had always been close to Ben. Luke and I had never come in contact through our brothers.

"That's your brother, right?" Luke nodded and held his hand out for me to take. I placed my hand in his and he led me over to his brother.

"Ben, this is Maddie, James' sister. Mads, this is my brother, Ben. You guys probably remembered that"

"It's nice to see you again, Maddie. It's been awhile since James moved away. Luke's told me a lot more about you" I blushed slightly but smiled.

"It's good to see you again too"

"Your brother was a great guy" Ben told me and Luke nodded in agreement with his brother.

"Thanks, he was the best" I replied.

"Maddie, we're going to go in and sit down" I nodded and took hold of Luke's hand.

"Come on" I pulled him along with me and Ben walked along next to us.

"Ben and I better sit back here" Luke said.

"Ben was close to my brother and what's the point in you being here to support me if you're not sat with me" I guided them to the front, earning some weird looks from my family. "Mum, Ben and Luke are going to sit here too" She nodded as Luke and I took a seat in the second row and Ben sat with some of his friends that him and James shared in the row behind us.

***

We'd got to the eulogies and I felt tears roll down my cheeks.

"Hey, he's in a great place. He has no need to worry anymore" Luke said and grabbed my hand and pressed his lips to it before resting our hands on his thigh. I was soon called up myself to say the few words I'd barely prepared. "You'll be fine. Just keep your eyes on me" Luke said as I stood up and walked over to the podium. I took a deep breath as I looked around. My eyes landed on Luke and he gave me a small smile.

"James was the best brother you could ask for. There were times when I wanted to kill him and he wanted to kill me but he was my best friend. He was a great friend, son and brother. Before he left home we would stay up past 12 most nights and try to listen to Green Day and Blink without being caught by our parents for being up too late. As we got older it became a thing to stay up late every Saturday night. We'd have the volume so low we wouldn't hear it anyway" I'd lost my eye contact with Luke now. The further I got into the speech the more confidence I gained in my words and looked around more. "We'd always had a close relationship. Growing up we played football together and he would walk me to school. He taught me to drive. He didn't want to do it. He argued with mum for a good hour before we finally went on the road. He always said my drivers license was more his than mine since he claimed he did most of the work even though I was the one driving and taking the test." There were a few small chuckles. I continued, "I didn't know he was going to do this, which is weird since I knew everything about him. We would talk on the way back from school, he would pick me up and we would discuss our days, our friends, the people we liked. I wish he was still here, there are some people I really would want him to meet now and in the future" I finished before going over to the coffin behind me. "I love you, James" I whispered as I ran a hand over the coffin. I held my hand against the bracelet that he gave me to for my birthday one year as I began to cry. I went and sat down next to Luke once again and leaned onto his shoulder whilst he wrapped his arms around me.

****

"You look cold" Luke said coming over to me. I shrugged. "What are doing out here, Watson?"

"I just wanted a break from it all. I feel like every time I turn around there's someone else saying sorry. It's not like it's their fault my brother's dead"

"Take this" Luke took off his leather jacket and placed it around my shoulders and I pulled it around me more.

"Thank you, again, for coming today"

"I told you, it's OK"

"But you missed school and-"

"But I was there for you and that's all that matters"

"You're so good to me, Luke. I don't think I've ever felt so comfortable and safe with someone. It's hard to gain my trust and god knows why it took you such little time. Thank you for everything"

"It feels so good to hear you say that" He said as he kissed my forehead and pulled me closer before whispering, "But if you say thank you one more time I'm gonna scream" I laughed slightly as did he.

I am so sorry. I'm so bad at updating this book and I wish I wasn't because I love this book. Please let me know what you think of it and vote/comment because I love reading and replying to your comments. Thanks for reading, if you still are :) x