30 Days to Love

Day 26: Departure

"You need to just get on the plane. You don't want your new boss to think you're a flake. They spent money on your travel. James will understand that you can't make his show," Margaret advises.

Shauna takes another spoonful of cereal, contemplating the trip. The invitation from James sits in front of her.

"Margaret and I can go to James's exhibit for you," Frannie says.

"We can?"

"Yes, we can. I'll be there anyway. Chris invited me as his date."

"You're dating Chris?" Shauna asks, curious if he's heard anything about how James is doing.

Frannie continues, "Yeah, he's different from any of the other guys I've dated."

"I'll say," Margaret chimes in. Shauna kicks Margaret. "Ow! Just make sure he pays for his own meals."

Frannie gives Margaret an odd look. "He's been very chivalrous actually. And we're taking it very slow."

"Good," Margaret and Shauna say.

"Margaret you should bring Jeremy. It'll be a double date."

"Sounds thrilling."

"You guys would do that?" Shauna asks.

"Of course," Frannie says.

Margaret sighs.

"M, you don't have to go if you don't want to," Shauna says. "I know how you get at museums."

"How do you get at museums?" Frannie asks.

"I get museum-head in about 10 minutes and then I have to get out of there. It's not pretty. And it usually involves gorging myself afterward."

"I have a solution for that," Frannie says.

"What's that?"

Frannie opens the cupboard and pulls out a little flask. "We fill this sucker up and I guarantee you won't be thinking about your museum-head."

"This solution has potential," Margaret agrees.

"Guys, promise me you won't get wasted at the show. James's parents are going to be there."

"It'll be fine."

"You can trust us."

Shauna isn't so sure, but what choice does she have? Her flight's in two hours. She needs to leave. Reluctantly, she gets up from the table and gathers her things for departure.

The closer Shauna gets to LAX, the worse she feels. She parks her car at a parking lot and hops on a shuttle bus. She sees a couple holding hands. They look like they just got married and are heading to their honeymoon. Shauna can't help staring at them. She imagines her wedding day and the bliss of actually going on a honeymoon. She tries to push the image out of her head. It's definitely not making this trip any easier.

Once she gets to the terminal, she heads to the ticket counter.

"May I help you?" the ticket agent behind the counter asks her.

"Do you know if this plane ticket is refundable?" Shauna asks.

The ticket agent checks the computer. "Yes, it is fully refundable. Did you want to cancel your flight?"

Shauna thinks for a few seconds. She could say yes and call her boss Alex and tell him she no longer wants the job. It would be that easy. But instead, she says, "No, that's okay. I just need my boarding pass. I'll carry on my luggage." She pulls out her driver's license and hands it to the agent. She looks down and notices the invitation to James's show. She's not sure why but she threw it in her purse before she left.

The ticket agent prints out the boarding pass and hands it to Shauna. "Here you go."

Shauna takes the boarding pass and walks to security. The same couple from the shuttle bus are in line. They're still holding hands. They look over-the-moon happy. She has her head on his shoulder. He leans over and kisses the top of her head. That tiny gesture says so much.

"Next," shouts the TSA officer. Shauna stands frozen. She knows she should put one foot in front of the other and show the officer her boarding pass and ID. The people behind her tell her she needs to step up. She waves them ahead of her as she figures out what to do. After a few more seconds, she can't bring herself to go – to leave her life in LA even though it's a total mess at the moment. She can't just leave the mess behind. She needs to navigate through it before she makes a huge life decision like moving across the country.

So instead of going through security and getting her butt on the plane to New York and accepting a job she's unsure is the right job for her, she turns around and walks right out of the terminal. She calls the parking lot and asks for the shuttle to come get her. She's pacing up and down the sidewalk. What is she doing, she asks herself. She's being crazy, spontaneous and reckless, and exactly how she wants to be.

James stands at the water's edge looking out at the ocean. He feels like he's been standing there for hours. He woke up this morning and decided he had to do something for himself before he could move on with his life. He looks down at the engagement ring in his hand. He plays with it for a little while, letting the memories associated with the ring play out in his head. Memories of a first love, the laughter, the joy, the pain, the heartache – all flow through his mind as he accepts that his first love is forever gone. His heart is ready to move on and accept that he will never feel her touch again. Never hold her in his arms after they make love. Never confide his most personal thoughts in her. From this point forward, she will only be a fond memory.

He walks out to the edge of the rocks that jut out into the ocean. He stands feeling the saltwater air whip over his face. The turbulent waves crashes against the rocks reminding him of his turbulent heart. In that moment, he pulls his arm back and throws the engagement ring he had bought his ex-fiancée Kate far off into the ocean. He watches as it flies overhead and then lands in the water, imagining it floating down to rest in the sand – the place where his feelings for Kate will be laid to rest as well.

He walks back to the warm sand and watches as the waves hit the shore. He notices that the light right now is rather magical.