The Final Goodbye © By: J.L. Jacobs

Chapter Thirty: The Final Goodbye

Chapter Thirty: The Final Goodbye

December 25, 1891

I am so tired. Today has been such a wonderful day that I am saddened to see it come to an end. Mrs. Cox, Rachel, Mother, and myself all did our fair share to create a fantastic Christmas feast for everyone. I had to take breaks in order to sit down as my body just could not keep up. The children laughed in delight over all of their presents, and I have felt such a joy within my heart as I watched my niece Jocelyn play with my darling little Maddie.

Jocelyn will be turning one in ten days and Madeline is now over eight months old. She is such a beautiful baby with dark brown hair that is almost black, just like Travis's hair, and she has such beautiful light blue eyes with just a hint of green around her pupils. She is such an absolute joy to me and everyone else. I call her my little miracle baby because she had been conceived before my first surgery and survived that, she survived despite my bleeding episodes, and she even survived while I was being attacked from the inside by my cancer. How in the world she ended up being so healthy and strong still mystifies me. But I am so very thankful because she has only enriched my life. I give thanks every day to God for allowing me to be her Mother. A few days ago I swear I even heard her say "Mama." Hope and Mikey love their little sister so much and they are very protective of her already. I love those two kids as if they were my own. I know that I didn't carry them or they may not have been in my life too awful long, but I still hold such a large amount of love within my heart for them both. So much so that it almost hurts. Tonight, after the children were tucked away in their beds, I read them each a story, then I kissed each of them on their cheeks and told them how much I loved them. Tonight was the first night Mikey ever said he loved me back and it made me feel... complete somehow. He smiled as I cried tears of happiness, then he said, "I mean it Mama Sophia, I really do love you. Thank you for such a wonderful Christmas. I will never forget it." After they fell asleep, I couldn't help but to stare at them each a little while longer as if I couldn't get enough. As per our nightly ritual now, Travis held me close during our nightly bath. Despite how skinny I have become over the last few months, he still looks at me as though I am the most beautiful woman in the world. After we were nestled inside our blankets in bed, we made such gentle love to each other and my body still thrums with pleasure. He is my love and I am his. I feel as though I am at such peace right now and I can feel no pain at all in this moment of time as I sit here writing. Perhaps that is my own special Christmas gift since the pain has been so bad lately. Even doing the simplest of things causes me to hurt. Pain has taken over my life and how I live it so I can only assume that the cancer has spread even more. But tonight, it's gone and I have almost forgotten what it feels like to not feel it. I am smiling now infact. Life is good, I am blessed, and I am so thankful to have so many people in my life that I love and who love me back. It just doesn't get much better than that as I have everything I have always dreamed of. --- Sophia A. Ewing

With a shaky hand, Sophia set down the quill and put the cork stopper inside the ink well. She closed her journal as a single tear escaped her eye and fell upon the now-worn leather cover. Sophia turned the little knob on the small lantern sitting on her writing desk so that the flame could be extinguished. Then she walked very carefully over to the bed on wobbly legs where Travis was lying on his side waiting for her. Sophia climbed in and pulled the covers over herself as Travis wrapped his arm around her. She felt so warm and safe lying there in his arms like that. So content. The full moon outside cast just enough light into the room that Sophia could still see her husband as she faced him while lying on her right side. He smiled softy down at her and kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you Sophia." he whispered. She peered at him with loving eyes and whispered back, "And I love you Travis. Thank you for giving me the family I have always dreamed of and most of all, thank you for loving me. You have made me the happiest woman in the world." She fell asleep in his arms with just a trace of a smile upon her face.