Wizard of Phan

Chapter 1

"Phil! Phil! The pet shop is having a sale on Shiba Inus can we get one?!?" Said Dan.
"Not right now Dan. I'm counting all my YouTube money." Said Phil.
"BUT THE SALE IS ONE DAY ONLY!!!!" Cried Dan!
"Not now Dan!" Phil said.
Dan walked alone to the petshop and got himself a nice Shiba inu.
He walked home with his new furry animal and said
"I wonder if there's a website beyond YouTube? A place where there is no spammers.
Do you really think there could be such a place Doge?"
Doge was eager to get home.
"Doge. There's no point of going home. Phil doesn't care."
Dan said.
Just then PJ ran to Dan and saw him talking to Doge.
"There you are! Phil's worried sick!" PJ said.
Dan rushed home. He couldn't find Phil. All that time with his own personal thoughts got to him a wild existential crisis hit!
Dan felt awful.
He fell asleep with doge in his arms.
Just then Dan woke up.
"Doge I don't think we're in YouTube anymore." Dan said.
A man who resembled PJ came down in a big blue bubble.
"Now I know I'm not in YouTube anymore" said Dan.
The man in the bubble came down and said "Hi. I'm Kick. The fangirls have just informed me that master hacker has taken down the wicked website!"
Dan was no master hacker as he told Kick.
Kick insisted he must of been a master hacker.
"You must be a master hacker! The wicked website is down!"
Insisted Kick.
"I'm no master hacker. Master hackers are old and live in their  parents basements." Dan said. 
Then fangirl popped out.
"Whatcha say about my Kick ?!?!" She said.
"Sorry mate but what do you mean?" Asked Dan.
"Calm down fangirls he doesn't know." Said Kick.
"Doesn't know what?" Asked Dan.
Kick explained that he was a master hacker.
Dan felt embarrassed. He had never seen a young master hacker before.
Then all of a sudden a mean evil red creature popped out.
"Where's my bro?" He cried.
Dan started getting scared.
He didn't know who this creature was. Kick noticed that. Kick explained that was his brother. That it was the evil Google+ and he is far worse than his brother.
"Wait hold up. Who turned my brother into a meme?!?"
"Bruh. Not the meme. Under the meme."
Google+ screamed in horror.
"WHERE IS THE RUBY URL?"
Kick leaned over to Dan and whispered "check your pockets"
Dan checked his pockets and 3 malteesers and the Ruby URL were in there.
"Oh I guess I have it. Do you want it back mate?" Dan asked.
Kick turned to Dan and said "Mate keep it inside your pocket. It's magic is very powerful."
"K" Dan replied. 
The fangirls held Dan's hand and escorted him to the edge of fangirl city where they explained he had to go see The wizard of Crabs.
Dan waved goodbye and walked along the Crimson red road. 
Dan walked for miles and miles until he came across a girl teaching a lion how to sing.
"Where do I go next doge?"
Doge barked at the two figures.
"Silly Doge lions can't sing."
The two figures turned to Dan.
"Hi. I'm lion. Carrie here was teaching me to sing but it's way past her bedtime so she keeps falling asleep." Said the Lion.
Dan grabbed lion's paw and swept his fringe over.
"Maybe I can help. The Master Hacker Kick has told me I could help from the Wizard of Crabs. Maybe he could give you a singing voice and your friend Carrie the ability to stay up past her bedtime!" Exclaimed Dan excited to have two new friends to walk with him on his long journey.
They grabbed hands (and paws) and merrily skipped on the Crimson red road.