Trigger

twelve • intimidation

"He's dangerous!"

"Was," I correct harshly, my voice beginning to get raspy. "He was. He's not here anymore, so you can't talk about him like he is. Especially when it's your fault-"

"You need to learn to shut the fuck up sometimes, Kinsley," Finn spits, decreasing the space between us and cornering me with his intimidating stance. "You're not telling anyone about the pills. Levi killed himself. That's all anyone needs to know. He killed himself because he was crazy and lost it. Repeat after me: Levi killed himself."

"You killed Levi."

Finn exhales heavily through his nose, one of his arms suddenly snapping to rest stiffly on the wall above me. His cold eyes are sending me a deathly glare. "Levi. Killed. Himself."

"You expect me to just-"

"What? You're going to tell the police? I already hid all the evidence. No one's going to believe you. There's just going to think you're crazy, just like Levi." I don't say anything, my heart rate increasing as Finn repeats, "Levi killed himself. Say it."

I keep quiet.

Finn draws his hand back before shooting it back, punching the wall hard by my head, making me jump and my heart stop. "For God's sake, fucking say it, Kinsley!"

"Levi killed himself," I finally breathe out.

Finn looks satisfied for a moment, and I take that moment to slip out of the corner he was keeping me in, exhaling in relief. Finn draws back his hand, his knuckles already bleeding and a horrible looking dent in the wall. My heart skips a beat, knowing that the force of the punch could have landed somewhere on my body rather than the wall. I want to yell some more, tell Finn that he's the crazy one- but that's just the thing. He is. He's psychotic enough to land that punch on me next time just like he was psycho enough to mess with someone's medication, and that scares the crap out of me.

"If you say anything, I'll make sure you wish that you'd be in Levi's position," he growls out. "Get out of here."

"Happily," I scoff, glaring at him heatedly, but taking a couple of steps back until I'm out of his sight. Once I am, I sprint out of the Allen's cottage, run back to mine and lock myself in my room, beginning to cry in fear, confusion, and loss.

x

The night is long and quiet.

I don't sleep, mostly because I'm keeping my ears peeled for something I know I won't hear- the sound of gunshots. The only sounds I hear all night are those of crickets, waves lapping at the shore, waves breaking against the dock and the soft wind. When the sun begins to rise and rays of sunlight pour through my window, the finality of it settles in. I didn't hear those gunshots and I never will again because Levi is gone and he's never coming back.

The epiphany has me curling in on myself, choking on my own sobs. It's not fair, it's not, because I want to hug him again and tell him he's not crazy and he's not a monster but I just don't know because Finn said he killed his own parents but Finn also fucked with his medication-

It's not fair.

x

That afternoon, my dad is helping Jeffery get the last of his things into the trunk of his car while my mom and I stand to the side with Katherine and Finn. Katherine is fussing over Finn, her eyes bloodshot and tired, lack of sleep evident in her face. She fixes the collar of Finn's shirt, "Are you sure you don't want to come home with us?"

"What's the point, mom? The talk of the town is going to be Levi's suicide. I'm not going to be able to handle that."

"But this place..."

"Holds bad memories, yes, but it's better to face them head on than to tuck them in the back of the mind."

Katherine sniffles, smiling at her son. "You're so mature and grown up. I'm so proud of you, Finn." She pulls him into a hug, and over his mom's shoulders, Finn meets my eyes, the cold look returning for just a second when he does before it's quickly gone as his mom pulls back. I feel sick, quickly realizing by the icy look sent my way the real reason Finn wants to stay behind.

To make sure I keep my mouth shut.

Katherine wipes her tears and sniffles, giving Finn another tearful smile, "You'll be back for the fu-," Katherine suddenly chokes on the words, heaving a deep breath to compose herself before finally managing out, "Funeral, right?"

"Of course. I'll be down Sunday morning."

They hug one last time before Katherine makes her way over to the car, getting into the passenger seat. My dad and Jeffery shake hands, exchange a couple of parting words, and soon enough the Allens are disappearing down the dirt road, away from their model cottage.

Well, almost all the Allens.

Finn Allen is still here, and it makes me sick. It makes me sick because everyone is hugging him, telling him to stay strong and giving him their condolences, when Finn messed with Levi's medication. He drove Levi to killing himself- he took someone's life. He put his own cousin through hell and back because Finn was convinced that Levi was a monster.

But that does lead me back to one piece of information Finn had told me: the fact that Levi had killed his parents.

I just couldn't believe it. I guess it explained a couple of things- why he never talked about his parents, why he had gotten slightly uncomfortable when Finn had first came and mentioned Levi moving in with them, and why Levi talked about not being able to handle more guilt. Still, the thought of Levi Collins, the boy who had yelled at Finn for throwing a ping pong ball at a bird during a hike, killing his own parents is close to insane in my books.

But then again, he had punched his own reflection...

I sigh, shaking the thoughts out of my head. My dad and Finn are talking- I really want to pull my dad away from that damn rat, but I can't or I'm sure Finn won't hesitate in cutting off my head- while my mom squeezes my shoulder, turning me around to face her. "What about you? Do you want to go home for the rest of the summer?"

I lick my bottom lip before sparing a glance at Finn. No- I need to figure out what's going on. Something's not right. There's more to the stupid riddles that Finn had thrown at me. I want to figure this out, but I can't do it alone. When an idea pops into my head, I purse my lips and squeeze my mom's hand. "No, I want to stay. But... Can we invite Hannah to stay the rest of the summer with us?"

xxx

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