critical veins || peterick

chapter seventeen

Pete looks heartbroken. After a couple moments of silence, the doctors re-enter, and I tense up again. The health official whispers to a few of them as they write a few things down, whilst the others gently dismiss Pete.

Tapping on my shoulder snaps me into reality during the rush of everything happening. I look up to see the official. "We'll need to contact your father." I nod hurriedly and grope for my phone, handing it to her. She proceeds to find Dad's contact while I wait anxiously. I feel exposed without Pete in the room.

"Yes-hello, Mr. Stump? Your son is here in the ER. He fainted- what? Oh, okay. Anyway. Yes. He's been binging and purging. Okay, thank you."

I expect her to give me my phone back, but she says one last thing quietly.

"We have also uncovered scars on his wrists."

She then hangs up. My stomach drops. Of all the things she could have said...My emotions whir as I imagine the look on my father's face when he too sees what I've done to myself. Tears spring in my eyes but I refuse to cry again.

I want Pete back in the room, to be sat in the stool next to me. He doesn't even need to say anything; all I need is his presence to reassure me. I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack as people mill about, observing me as if I were underneath a microscope.

"Okay, Patrick. We're going to unhook you now." A doctor murmurs gently. I feel a bit numb as they detatch the wires, hearing the machine on my left turn off. My phone is handed back to me and I find myself in the waiting room.

At least Pete's there. He moves from his original spot next to me instead and I feel a bit better. Otherwise, there's a sick feeling swirling in my chest.

Dad arrives in a couple minutes. I take a moment to check the time- 6:56 P.M. Wow. Was I really knocked out for that long?

I avoid his stare as he enters. He exchanges a couple words with the health official and receives a couple papers. Finally I'm forced to see his expression when we're about to leave.

His face is blank.

I wave goodbye to Pete, who kind of shuffles after us to get to his car. The sky is a darker shade of blue with the slightest tint of orange. I marvel at the hues before sitting shotgun, gazing out the window.

Dad sighs, but my stare stays focused on a spot outside. He starts the engine and we drive silently to our house.

We pull into the driveway, and I wait as he unlocks the door. I hurry to my room, breaking out into a sweat. I don't even change once I reach my room; instead, I hide under my sheets and shut my eyes. I hear Dad thumping past, his sighs echoing down the hall.

*

I wake up a bit light-headed, so I tread to the kitchen and eat slowly. I suppose I'll have to eat now everyday without purging afterwards; I find this more of a challenge, since my stomach rejects anything that touches it.

Once I'm done I change and get ready, waiting for the last possible minute to finish up. After folding and unfolding the hem of my sweater, I head outside, gripping my backpack straps fiercely.

Pete is amongst the gathering crowd. Despite my current feelings, a bit of happiness flares within me. I realize that I've been aching to be near him; especially after the isolation that set in from our separation yesterday.

We catch each other's look and we smile simulataneously. God, I really do love him. I feel embarrassed at the thought, but why deny the truth at this point?

My shoes crunch on the dew-soaked grass, and once I'm level with him, Pete says hello. I nod in response.

"I feel like I should apologize about yesterday," he says, scratching the back of his neck. My gaze rests on his face and I notice with a jolt that his eyes are bloodshot.