Lingering Thoughts : Ebullient sorrow

Hatred

I'm so fucking livid right now. I don't know why. But I really hate you. I hate you so much that I just want to smash my fist into your face a dig your stupid eyes out. 

I loved you. Maybe I wasn't in love with you. But I really did love you. I still love you...  maybe thats why I'm so angry right now. We're both pretty shitty people. You wouldn't give me your heart and I hurt you because of that. I wanted to make it excruciating for you. I mean how many times did you make me feel like shit? But I guess in the end nothing I said hurt you.

Did you just use me? What the hell was  I to you? Did you know how much I've struggled with this? 

I mean deep down I knew you probably cared about me? What does it matter...

I can't get any answers from you anyways.

I hate you so much for taking my heart when you never had any interest in it to begin with. 

You died before I could get any answers from you. 

Rot in hell.

Im infuriated. I downed a whole bottle of my namesake but its not doing shit. I cant get numb enough to make it go away.

I hate you for making it hurt this much.