The Way I Chose

Epilogue

Goodbyes can mark the end of a story. They can also mark the beginning of a new chapter. I watch the swirling, sparkling snowflakes fall to the ground like feathers. The grass is no longer green and full of lustrous colour but dried and covered with a thin layer of snow. I drift all my thoughts of this afternoon to the back of my mind. What will happen when he's gone? When will I see him again? I ask myself more questions than ever and I know I can't answer anyone of them. I must let the story write itself. I think back to all the memories Shane and I shared. The snuggles, hugs, benches in the park as well as the hard wooden bench in front of my piano. I have my memories to hold on to, even when I can't physically hold on to Shane and keep him here with me. I notice I'm gripping the necklace around my neck that he gave to me. I feel the sudden wetness of my hands. Had I been crying that whole time?

I turned away from the window and heaved a sigh that could be heard downstairs. My mother was coming this afternoon to say goodbye as well and I appreciate her support. She knows I'll need her after the 'so long, farewell.' I know I'll need her physical support so I don't crumple to the ground when I watch him leave me behind. Maybe, in a few years, I could be with him and live there on my own. Feelings can change but I am not ready for that to happen and I don't think I'll find anyone like him.

I grab the letter I wrote and placed it in an envelope and licked it shut. I wrote all my words down because I know I will choke when he leaves and won't be able to speak a word without tears spilling from my already sore eyes.

I push the letter into my back pocket so half of the envelope sticks out. I walk to the bathroom with gentle steps and grab my hair brush. I brush my long, dark hair evenly till the strands are smooth. I don't put mascara on because it will just make me look like a total mess in a few hours. I used to keep all my hair care products and makeup things in my bedroom but I moved them to the bathroom after I broke my mirror. Too many haunting memories were trapped under the glass and reflection of the mirror when it hung against my wall. I grip two small pieces of hair from the front framing my face and pull them back, adjusting the bobby pins as I put them in place behind my head. I comb out the tips of my hair with a wide-toothed comb and make my hair knot-free. I constantly watch my eyes in the mirror, not looking at any of my movements. My brown eyes look like chocolate drops. so dark, but not dark chocolate. My hair is the same colour with natural pieces of dark chocolate hair streaking my scalp. My skin is pale, ghostly white, and whiter than it's ever been. Nerves are kicking in, sadness is a part of it. I remember the paleness of my body in the hospital bed many times. I adjust my plaid shirt that hangs open to see a tank top underneath. I turn off the light as if nothing happens and walk silently out of the bathroom.
I don't know what happened, I don't know what I just did and why I did it. I examined myself, studied my features. Shane liked me for me, he liked who I was inside and outside. But was there more to what I was looking at? God knows. I don't, but I know I will soon find out. I will figure out whether being away from Shane will change me, and if it does, it will only change me as much as I let it. I will find out if I truly love him, though love is a strong word at sixteen.

I open the front door to my mother who is waiting on the porch. She tells me to put my jacket on and I grab my hat also. My hair falls out of my hat to below my waist. We stroll down the path in the woods and make our way to the sidewalk and across the road to the park. The bench is cold and wet, so neither of us take a seat. We stand in silence and my mother pulls me close. I let out most of my tears for ten minutes as we stand there in ankle deep snow. She holds me. She cries with me because she knows it's hard, it's difficult and it hurts. I want to let out all my tears before the 'goodbye' but they keep coming. I do not want to cry every time I think about Shane, it is not a good way to remember him. I'll be alright and look forward to seeing him soon. We walk in silence back to the house and wait for Shane and his family to show.

I see their truck pull up with a trailer linked to the back. Shane steps out along with his parents and his younger sisters. I don't see them often, except at church each Sunday and I've met his parents a few times but they're usually busy during the week. I hug them anyway, I hug his younger twin sisters, Jayden, Jaclyn. They are not much shorter than me, and about two years younger. They grin at me with a toothy grin covered with colourful braces.
I turn to Shane and look straight in his gorgeous, gray eyes. He studies mine. I grab him in a hug so long, so tight and preserve the warmth. He whispers in my ear.
"Don't you worry, God has a plan for both of us and I will never forget you, and won't leave you. God will never leave nor forsake you so keep trusting in him and you'll be alright." He pulls back slightly and all I can do is nod. His face gets blurry from the tears in my eyes and I run them away. He's holding me still and he gently puts his hands on my cheeks and pulls me close. His lips brush against mine and the kiss deepens. I will miss this, I will miss him more than anything at this point. I pull away and put my face in his shoulder because he's taller than me. He holds me as I cry and his eyes are full of tears. I can tell he is trying to be the strong one.
"I love you," I stood in my toes and whispered in his ear. His face lights up at those three words. "Goodbye."
"No, it's not goodbye." He pauses and my expression is clearly confused.
"It's 'see you later'," He speaks slowly and I smile at the words.
"See you later."

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The End

Hope you guys liked my story! Remember to vote and comment what you think! Thanks for the reads! It means a lot to me! Love you all <3

A big thanks to CarliGGSheeran for the new cover photo! I love it! <3

~Writerlover5
(A.K.A Destaney)