Chapter 22: EXES AND OOHS

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"There are millions of people in Hell scattered throughout the seven rings and nine circles. Some are sinners, some are Hell-born, and some are unlucky souls who got screwed in the living world."

"These are their problems."

Luke: You were discussing on how to help a friend have kids the other day...

*THE OTHER DAY*

Luke, Osric, Vicious, and Loona were hanging out at the workshop while conversing.

Osric: Got any dates lined up, good buddy?

Luke: Loona and I got one this Friday. Beyond that, it's mostly busy with other stuff.

Loona: More hotel shit?

Luke: Not quite.

Vicious: So with what?

Luke: Looking to find Tina a stud. That's a priority.

Osric: She's a beautiful white tigress.

Vicious: Oh, she's a real beauty.

Luke: No, she's a gorgeous tigress. She just tries to kill her studs, is the thing.

Loona: (smirks) Well, that's my girl.

Vicious: Maybe she should go in for a fingers in the bum.

Luke: Are you fucking preoccupied?

Loona: That's only the answer sometimes.

Osric: Vicious working in vicious ways.

Loona: Not all the times.

Vicious: Just to checks.

Loona: Sometimes.

Luke: Are you fucking preoccupied?

Vicious: Doesn't matter what you takes her in for. As sure as a bush is gonna break your fall, Tina's gonna get some fingers in the bum.

Osric: How deep?

Luke: Fuck's sake.

Vicious: Whaddaya means how deep?

Osric: How many knuckles?

Vicious: Like how many knuckles deep?

Osric: Yeah, are we talking about a one-knuckler or two-knuckler?

Vicious: Oh, it'd take three-knucklers to get to the bottom of this.

Luke: Oh, now see, that's too many.

Vicious: Is not.

Luke: Well, a person's got two knuckles so you're saying that the doctor would have to fire a three-knuckler up Tina's bum to get to the bottom of it?

Vicious: A person has three-knuckles.

Luke: No, a person has two-knuckles. Figure it out.

Vicious: A person has three-knuckles. You figure it out.

Luke: (sets beer down, holds finger up) A person's got two knuckles, okay? (Points to base knuckle) One, (points to where finger bends) two.

Vicious: (points to the tip of finger) Three. You forgot about the little knuckle underneath the fingernails.

Luke: Well, see now, that's not a knuckle, though, Vic. To be a knuckle, you gotta be able to punch somebody with it. You can't punch somebody with the knuckle underneath the fingernail, can you?

Vicious: (makes a downward palm-heel strike) Can too.

Loona: Well, you'll be looking pretty fucking silly.

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