The Silent Partner

Letting Go is Never Easy

First off, I am not telling you whose point of view this chapter is in. You'll just have to read it and find that out for yourself. HAHAHA!

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Raphael smirked. The smirk softened a little as he turned out the light in the main room, taking one last glance at the lizard mutant on the couch before the darkness settled.

I watched the tender scene impassively. I knew it. In my heart I had always known. From the very first, I had sensed the change.

I returned to my room and lay face-up on the bed. For once I actually allowed myself to get lost in thought, no longer caring about my surroundings. After about an hour I sprang up and made my way to the dojo feeling restless.

I ran through some of my more advanced katas, but my movements were distractedly sloppy. Finally I growled quietly in frustration before punching the tree in the center of the dojo with all my might. I was careful not to make any noise. I did not wish to awaken any of my sons.

I sighed. I could always ask Raphael not to pursue a relationship. Best to do it now before he gets in too deep. I know that he would respect my wishes. My shoulders tensed and I swiveled slowly around. I softened a little and approached the small bookshelf, lifting the picture off of it delicately. My fingers brushed lightly over the figure of my beloved Tang Shen and I could hear her voice in my head: You have no right to inhibit their love, Yoshi.

My grip on the frame tightened and I whispered aloud to myself. "I have every right! I am his father! He is too young-"

Too young for what, Yoshi? Too young to have someone he cares about?

"Too young to be in a relationship! Too young to bear that kind of responsibility! Too young to realize the danger it may bring! Too young..." My voice sank to an almost inaudible murmur, "Too young to be pulled from his family in such a manner."

Pulled from his family? Or pulled from his training?

My finger tip traced Tang Shen's hair wistfully and I sighed. My shoulders drooped and I returned the picture to its rightful place. I padded softly to the center of the dojo beneath the tree and dropped into a cross-legged position. It wasn't long before I fell into a very deep state of meditation. 

Her voice repeatedly echoed in my head: Pulled from his family? Or pulled from his training?

I sighed. Training is not all I care about, Shen.

Then what are you really afraid of? What is there to lose in allowing your son this opportunity for growth?

My eyes screwed tightly closed as I struggled to hone my focus. Raphael is only seventeen! He's still a child!

I could swear that I could actually feel her frustration as she went on. Hardly a child anymore, my love. Look at the challenges he has faced, the sacrifices he has made, the life he has lived so far. He is grown. He is his own. So I ask you again, Yoshi: What is there to lose?

A son. I confessed, my true fear finally coming to light. I belatedly realized that it wasn't Raphael whom I feared for, but myself. I was afraid of losing my son.

Then you would deny him happiness to keep him close to you?

I could feel a tear running down the side of my face even before my eyes opened. I voiced my thoughts aloud, "I love my sons, Tang Shen. I love each and every one of them. And as close as I hold them to my heart, I could never deny them happiness." I rose to my feet and trotted over to the shelf. My fingers gently gripped the framed portrait and I smiled down at it. "You always had a way of reasoning with me, my love." I hugged the framed picture to my chest and bowed my head.