A Random in Re:Zero

Loop 7 - Part 43

"I'm afraid that this time it won't be like that."

Rem was silent for a moment and then said something that made my blood boil.

"You're a hero." She declared it with a beautiful smile and eyes full of admiration. "You shouldn't think that way. For your own good and the good of others, you have to win."

"... What?"

I stood up abruptly. She looked at me, surprised by my reaction.

"I said you are-"

"I know what you said! But you're fucking wrong if you think that! Do you think saving everyone's ass is my responsibility!?"

"Leandro...?"

Rem had to back away when I yelled in his face.

"I am not omnipotent! I cannot do everything, know everything, or be everywhere! I am a human being! I make a lot of mistakes and lose more battles than I win!"

She placed her hand on my chest, trying to calm me down.

"Why do you say those things? You're always one step ahead of everyone. You're strong, intelligent, and kind. Just being around you fills me with happiness."

Her flattering words only fueled my anger.

"Stop idealizing me! I'm nothing like that! I'm a fraud, a loser! Get it through your thick skull!"

"That's not true. The Leandro I know is many things, but never a loser."

"The one you know... Yes, you're right."

My patience had run out. I could no longer bear the frustration of not being able to meet Rem's expectations, the others' expectations, or even my own. It was time to accept the truth.

"Since you're so sure you know me well, I'd better tell you everything you don't know about me."

I would tell Rem everything, regardless of the consequences. Why should I care, if I was going to die anyway?

"Let's start from the beginning. I wasn't born in this world. Actually, I come from a place beyond the great waterfall."

"Huh?"

"Besides, the whole story I told you is a lie. I was never persecuted by the witch's cult, and I'm not a tragic survivor. My relatives are alive, my friends are alive..."

Rem's face gradually transformed, going from simple affectionate concern to the horror of someone suffering a great disappointment.

"My life consisted of going from home to work and from work to home. In my free time, I spent my time fantasizing about adventures that would never come true. Oh, and I also masturbated a lot."

I was finally letting go, showing my pathetic true self. It felt so good, like a weight I'd been carrying for so long had been lifted.

"And if you're wondering how I know so much about this world, the answer is very simple." I paused for a moment of suspense. "Because everything that happens here is written in a series of books in my world."

"Stop... I can't..."

"Do you understand now? You shouldn't speak as if you know the truth if you don't know the whole truth. But wait, I haven't told you the best part yet."

I pointed to myself with an eloquent gesture.

"In those books, there was another protagonist... Someone much better than me, by the way. When I came to this world, I discovered that I had somehow replaced him. So, I decided to take his place. You know what that means? That I'm a damn imposter."

Rem couldn't look me in the eyes. Her whole body was trembling and her breathing was ragged.

"Now, I dare you to look me in the eye and say again that I'm a hero. Of course you won't. You must hate me, despise me. Only then can I surrender without remorse."

Gradually, Rem raised her head and looked at me. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her mouth moved as if she wanted to say something but didn't have the strength to do so.

"That's it. Give me your best shot. Finish me off."

Smiling, I waited for it to erupt. It would hurt, but it would be a necessary pain. When it was all over, I would feel better.

The last thing I expected was for Rem to jump on me and wrap a hug around my back.

"I love you!"

My mind stopped working for a moment.

"What did you say?"

"I said I love you!"

She repeated that statement in a tearful voice. My heart trembled and I felt a lump in my throat.

"Why!?"

"Because I don't care about your past, who you are, or where you come from! That doesn't change what you've done here! Since I met you, my life has meaning again! You saved me!"

"It was a whim! I didn't do it out of any damn empathy! Can't you understand that?!"

Rem remained silent for several seconds, but her grip did not loosen one bit.

"No, now I understand. You're right about something."

This time he did look me in the eyes.

"You're no hero." She said, though she was smiling for some reason. "You're selfish, a liar, and a pervert. You have so many flaws. I should never have put you on a pedestal."

"Exactly..."

"Because you are as vulnerable as anyone... like me."

She had an expression of accomplishment.

"Yes." I nodded. "I'm no better than you, or anyone else."

Rem started crying again, but now her expression seemed to be one of happiness.

"Leandro... This is what you wanted to explain to me, right? Nobody's perfect, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has shortcomings, just like me."

"That's how it is."

"Well, in that case..."

Rem put her arms around my neck and stood on her tiptoes to get down to my level. I didn't need to guess her intention, because I was thinking the same thing.

She whispered one last thing before her lips were silenced by mine.

"Let's learn to be better... together."