A Random in Re:Zero

Loop 7 - Part 43

My senses began to fade. Darkness gradually enveloped me. Before I left, I heard one last reproach from Petra.

"Liar...!"

Yes, all the women say I lie to them. Wow, that would have made me laugh at another time.

***

I tried it many times, too many times. No matter how or where I did it, the result was always the same.

The problem wasn't the difference in skills, because while he was much better than me, that would cease to matter the moment I learned every one of his moves.

His advantage lay in the physical difference. My body in this timeline had very little time to start using magic: that's why my brain struggled with the excess of magical power; that's why I didn't have the speed or strength to compete with him.

I needed to find a way to compensate for that physical difference, but there was a problem.

"Ugh." I collapsed into a chair and rested my head on the table. "I can't take it anymore."

Too many failures, too many relentless deaths. Part of me believed I wouldn't be able to win, that continuing to try would be pointless. In reality, they were just excuses to stop trying. My whole life was based on that.

After forcing myself to act for the good of others time and time again, I had finally reached my limit.

"What did they do to make me sacrifice so much for their sake? With all I'm suffering, I deserve more than they could ever give me."

Well, a harem would make up for it... Nah, who am I kidding? Just getting laid would make it all worthwhile. Damn, I'm way too fickle to be the protagonist of a dramatic story.

Back to my misery: I felt empty, lonely, and lacking any motivation to go on. At this rate, I might just stay in the Sanctuary doing nothing and let everything go to hell.

"I can't waste a loop like that, but I also know I'm going to die again against that guy... What's the point of going and getting myself killed again?"

However, Petra and Frederica would definitely die if I didn't show up at the mansion. Furthermore, there was no guarantee that the swordsman wouldn't attack me while I was at the Sanctuary. Considering it was an alternate version of me, he probably knew how to get here.

In short, there was no other way out. I would have to keep fighting and dying.

"How fun life is in this fantasy world."

Tappei, I admire you a lot, but do me a favor and shove a wire stick up your ass, you fucking sadistic piece of shit.

Suddenly the front door opened. I guessed Otto had gotten tired of waiting for me and was coming to ask what was taking me so long.

But it wasn't Otto.

"What are you doing here?" I murmured.

Rem closed the door gently and approached, standing beside me.

"I've been watching you this whole time. Something's got you worried, isn't it?"

"Yes." I didn't try to hide it.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm sure it will help you find a solution."

I forced a giggle.

"I don't think so. I've thought this through a thousand times."

"It's strange that you say that. You always solve everything."

I sighed. She was too naive, or I was too deceitful.