A Random in Re:Zero

Loop 6 - Part 40

"I made some serious mistakes." I explained bitterly. "Right now, I can't decide whether it's worth trying to sacrifice... my principles to fix everything or whether I should hold on to the hope that everything will somehow work out."

Setting aside her own worries for a moment, Emilia focused on telling me what she thought about my dilemma. Her amethyst eyes seemed to sparkle in the dim light.

"Well... I think we all make mistakes, some more than others. I'm not good at giving advice, and I'm definitely not in a position to do so, but I think that if following your principles did more good than harm, I think you should give yourself another chance. If you ask me, I personally think you're an admirable person, so I don't want you to give up on yourself."

"I see. What you're saying makes sense."

It was incredible that despite going through an identity crisis, Emilia managed to encourage me. Nevertheless, I still felt like a piece of shit.

"I hope you're right..."

I sighed deeply. This wasn't the first time I'd chickened out when faced with an important decision. My own life had been defined by such pivotal moments. Something told me this act of cowardice would have the same consequences in the future.

"I suppose you're also worried that I won't be able to pass the trial..."

Emilia timidly expressed her conjecture.

"No, in fact it's quite the opposite." I denied. "If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I can leave this matter in your hands."

My answer made the half-elf's eyes widen.

"Do you really have that much faith in me?" She sounded almost worried, as if my show of confidence was something insane.

"I know you better than you think. I know the kind of person you are, and I'm convinced that you can... no, that you will achieve it."

"I think I'm going to disappoint you." She said, making a sound of distress. "Right now, I don't even know who I really am. I've forgotten so many important things, even my mother... Will I still be the same when I remember everything?"

"Pfft."

Emilia was surprised to hear me stifle a laugh. I hadn't meant to laugh at that serious moment, but my body needed to release some of the tension I'd built up that day.

"What do you find funny?"

"Don't worry about your memories. They're just images from the past that you can treasure, or use as a learning experience. The only thing that matters is what you feel and want, right now."

If I had to worry about those things, I'd be having an existential crisis right now. She seemed to be going through that stage.

"I feel confused, and scared, and alone..."

I nodded slowly, with a gesture of understanding, as I listened to her vent.

"I want to rest and believe that everything will be better tomorrow..."

"It will be." I asserted. "Because you're very strong. You'll get through this."

Emilia lowered her gaze, but nodded affirmatively, as if wanting to agree with my opinion.

"Would you stay with me, please?"

"Of course." I replied immediately, then smiled mischievously. "Just don't snore this time."

"Oh!" She blushed. "I don't do that!"

"I know. But I wouldn't mind if that were the case, because I accepted you into my heart with all your flaws and virtues. Nothing you do will change how I feel about you."