A Random in Re:Zero

Loop 6 - Part 39

Unfortunately, my words bounced off her.

"I'm not saying it's all my fault. I'm just saying I'm not enough. If I were stronger or smarter, I could really help you. If I were more like my sister, or like Lady Emilia..."

"Stop that shit!" I grabbed her shoulders, trying to make her see reason. "You are who you are, Rem! I like you like this, and I don't prefer you any other way!"

"Liar!" Rem couldn't hold back her tears and shoved me in the chest. "You're just saying that because you feel sorry for me! You said it yourself!"

"That was a stupid tantrum! I'm not one to feel sorry for anyone! Of all people, I'm the most screwed!"

I found it hard to believe that Rem, the ideal girl for many, was saying these things to me. It was ridiculous.

She looked at me as if I had told her the most blatant lie in the universe.

"If someone like you feels this way, how should I feel?" She looked down, her voice trailing off. "Do I even have the right to suffer? I'm not a hero or a leader; I don't have that big a responsibility. Maybe I should just die."

Her words pierced my chest like icy needles. I felt like the most repulsive monster of all for taking her depression to this level.

"Rem..."

I went limp, my hands loosening and releasing their grip on her body. I stepped back and I bumped into the wall.

"No... This is too much." I muttered. "I have to fix this."

My eyes shifted to my waistband, where the revolver lay holstered. At this point, it seemed like the only way to solve the problem.

I hated the idea, but I hated myself more for having caused this outcome. I gritted my teeth and grabbed my gun, pressing the barrel against my temple.

"Fuck this loop. I'll do it all over again."

Just as I was about to pull the trigger, Rem threw herself at me and the impact made me drop the revolver.

"What are you doing!?" She exclaimed, angry and scared.

"Let me go." I decided my resolve couldn't waver. Using my authority, I pushed her away from me and stopped her movements. "This is the only way."

"What are you talking about?! Have you gone crazy?!"

I wasn't rambling, but she wouldn't understand. I wondered how she'd react if she knew the activation condition of my power was my own death.

"Wait! Please don't do it! LEANDRO!"

Ignoring Rem's squeals, I walked over to my dropped weapon to pick it up.

"Fula!" Suddenly, Ram's voice echoed in the hallway, and a breeze blew in front of me.

I watched in disbelief as my precious revolver was split in two by a blade of magical wind.

"Ram, you just..."

Before I could finish, I received a punch to the nose, courtesy of the pinkette. I fell on my ass and my nose started bleeding rapidly. Ram cracked her knuckles, ready to hit me again.

"Can you explain to me what you were planning to do by pointing that thing at yourself?"

"Die." I gave the short answer, or rather, the only one I could say without earning a 'squeeze' from Satella.

Ram was about to say something, but then Rem caught me in a hug that was too tight. Somehow, I didn't escape the squeeze in the end.

"I'm sorry! It's all my fault!" Her voice cracked, and she babbled like a little girl.