It Ends With a Text (Sequal to It Began With a Text)

Country Air

     Hyunjin was still embarrassed to admit that he had failed to make a single friend since he had arrived here.

     He couldn't even say it wasn't due to a lack of effort, because it really was. Hyunjin had mastered the art of keeping his head down, avoiding conversation and retreating to the haven of his dorm room.

     And he loved it.

     Teenage him would have been mortified at his hermit state. A life without constant chatter and fistbumps and eagerness sounded unfathomable. But Hyunjin surprised himself, with how natural it was to keep his mouth shut and let others pass him by. The countryside was quiet, peaceful. Hyunjin lived in a world of unfamiliar faces. Nobody could look him in the eyes, with a smile, and decide who he was and string him along for a terrifying ride. Hyunjin's world was just classes and grades and slumber till the sun was high in the sky the next day,

     Was any of this good for him? Probably not. But he revelled in the way life seemed to have slowed down. He didn't want anything to change.

     Hyunjin's teeth chattered as he made his way to his rented apartment. Autumn was beginning to settle in and it was never pleasant. Hyunjin looked forward to blasting the heater and studying in his bed.

     He turned to the left, eyes wandering over the one other person walking the opposite direction. No matter how good isolation felt, Hyunjin still found himself studying the strangers around him, even if only for a moment.

     He didn't expect to recognize this stranger.

     "Felix?"

     It was confirmed the minute the stranger turned his head around. Felix's eyes widened, like a deer caught in headlights.

     Hyunjin grinned and he felt the rays of the sun that were still peeking through the clouds on his skin, blinding his eyes. That was strange. He was always cold. "You didn't tell me you were back in Korea! Are you on vacation?"

     Felix's expression seemed to relax. His breath crystallized in the air as he opened and closed his mouth, speechless in a way that was so unlike him. He put his head down.

     "I'm not... I never left Korea."

     Hyunjin's face fell. "What?"

     "I can't lie to your face, Hyunjin. I've been in Korea this entire time."

     Now, it was Hyunjin's turn to be speechless. "Wha-- Felix, what?"

     Felix flinched. Hyunjin hadn't realized the harshness of his tone. But suddenly, he couldn't take it back. "All this time-- that's more than two years! That's two years you've been telling me you're in Australia. That's two years you have never come to visit me because you're supposed to be in another country! What the-- what the hell, Felix."

     Felix squeezed his eyes shut. His hair was flying into his face. "I'm sorry... it's complicated."

     "You owe me an explanation."

     "No, I don't think I do."

     Hyunjin felt his body snap up at Felix's sudden shift in tone. He had always known Felix's voice was deep but there was a way a refusal out of his mouth, something Hyunjin had never heard before, highlighted it.

     Felix swiped a hand across his forehead, clearing his face. "I don't owe you an explanation because you haven't told me anything yourself. Do you think I'm stupid?"

     Hyunjin's mind blanked. He didn't understand Felix's words. He didn't understand his anger. He didn't like this, he didn't like it at all. "No, of course not!"

     "I think you do. Both you and Seungmin actually. You both don't speak a word to each other and leave me to entertain each of you separately in our group chat like I'm some freaking jester. You think I haven't noticed? And I know for a fact that your Messages icon was grey when I tried to add you to our groupchat and it only resolved itself after I told Seungmin. Like, I know what a grey icon means, Hyunjin. Seungmin had you blocked for years. And I have to go offline for a week and miss our call, which I am sorry about, for personal reasons and I come back to find our group chat dead and I think, what even is the point? What am I doing all of this for? What the hell has come between the two of you to the point that you can't even suck it up and try to fix things when I'm trying so hard?"

     Now Hyunjin felt stupid. And absolutely awful. Felix stood there, breathing hard, something stuck in his throat as he attempted to clear it several times. It really was too cold outside.

     "I... don't want to fight with you, Felix." That was all he knew to say.

     "I don't either. But is it safe to assume you fought with Seungmin?"

     The word fight wasn't like recalling a vague memory. Hyunjin didn't think it had ever left. "It was years ago, right before the group split up. You were inactive then. It-- it was mainly my fault. I said things I shouldn't have. But what Seungmin said... still hurts, even if maybe it was true. I didn't think a friend could ever make me feel that way."

     Hyunjin took a shaky, breath. These past few years, nothing hurt. He liked it that way. "Maybe I deserve losing Seungmin as a friend. Our friendship had been in a weird place for a while. I don't need him to forgive me. But... I can't quite forgive him either."

     "Not when I called him and he didn't respond when I needed him the most."

     Hyunjin choked up. He liked the countryside, he did. It was quiet and orderly and painless. But every once in a while, the silence was a reminder of the loss of a dream. The biting country air was a compromise, stifling the desires Hyunjin had had, the path he had actually wanted to take in his life.

     Felix looked Hyunjin in the eye, before turning his head to look down the street. "It's getting cold, we should head inside."

     "Right. I'm uhh heading over to my place. It's the next turn ahead." Hyunjin crossed his arms to stop himself from shivering.

     Felix was still looking away. "Yeah. I'm going back to my grandma's house. I'm... here for some time, so I'll catch you later?"

     Hyunjin felt a lump in his throat. "Yeah, for sure. It... is good to see you again, Felix."

     "... yeah, same."

     Walking past Felix was painful. Hyunjin only allowed himself to look back when he knew Felix had disappeared from view. His body felt like it had been flung into zero-gravity.

     He... couldn't lose Felix. He would wait. Hyunjin wasn't going anywhere.