Midnight Scarlet » Stilinski

Fifteen

            Hide my feelings, the connection, and everyone will be safer.

            Stiles will be safer if I take the well-worn path.

            I will be broken.

            It’s actually funny― in a cruel, ironic way― that before today, I already considered myself broken. I always told myself that because if I was shattered, nothing could harm me. I was already past salvation.

            But now I realize that I was perfectly intact, damaged, but not destroyed. Now, I’m past saving. I let go of the ledge I was hanging onto desperately, and I’m freefalling, waiting for it all to end when I reach the bottom. That’s what love feels like― not that cute, ditzy stuff shown in movies or in the hallways at school. Love is pain. Love is weakness. Love is deadly.

            Four days. Just four more days and love won’t be the only dead thing.

                                                                 •  •  •

The hospital lets me out three hours later (around five in the morning), puzzled that my wounds vanished, but not having anything to hold me. I have the decency to hold my happy dance in until Stiles helps me in the Jeep. By now, I’ve managed to bury my feelings under layers of joy, missing Jake and Ben, and guilt.

            “You should find a place to rest,” Stiles says, his eyes on the road, trees whirring past. “You could crash at my place if you’d like. I’m sure my dad wouldn’t mind.”

            I try my best to ignore the way my heartbeat speeds up. “Nah, I’m not really tired. Probably the adrenaline rush, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for a while. Let’s go back to the Hale house. Before all that happened, you were going to take me to inspect a dead body.”

            He makes a face. “Considering you just left the hospital, I would think a dead body would be the last thing you’d want to see.”

            I roll my eyes. “Well, no one is ever actually in the mood to want to go see dead bodies, but that’s normal enough for me. I just want to get back to what’s familiar.”

            “It’s sad that that’s familiar to you.”

            “Hey,” I snapped. “Not everyone can have a normal upbringing, with a family that loves them and doesn’t chain them to a wall.” I immediately regret saying anything, and I shrink back into my seat, hoping that maybe the cloth will devour me.

            “What?!” He swerves a bit and I yell at him to keep his eyes on the road. I don’t need two car crashes in less than twenty-four hours. “Your parents chained you up on full moon nights? Why would they do that? It’s inhumane.”

            That makes me laugh a bit. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not human. Being the descendant automatically makes a full moon more dangerous, because though I can control others, I was born with no self-control. I’ve been trained, but if I’m not restrained, I’ll murder on full moon nights.” I take a deep breath. “Besides, my family’s different. It’s not something you can really understand.”

            “Trust me, Bree; I’ve had my fair share of weird family problems that no one understands. I’m sure I can help with yours.”

            For some reason, rage boils inside of me, though he’s said nothing wrong and is being nice. No matter what he says, he won’t understand. Ben doesn’t even understand, and at least he’s from the same world as me.