Chandler Riggs & Carl Grimes Imagines

Prologue ☆

I find it funny how particular people seem to forget how good they have it. People with wealth, popular kids, couples with healthy children; Some of these people are still depressed. Eventhough they don't have a reason to be. They have everything they ever wanted and still they feel a lot of anger and sadness or they just take their good life for granted and think it is normal to have such life.

I also find it funny how particular people seem to forget how bad they have it. Homeless people, bullied kids, woman that are barren; Most of those people are still happy. Every little thing make them feel positive. A simple song, a certain memory or even just nature. I admire these people. They seem to always see light in a cloudy sky.

I belong to the first group.

I have everything a kid would want to have. A small group of close friends, parents that are still together, no money problems; But still I feel this emptiness. I feel sad almost all the time and I don't know why. I have tried everything to not feel this way anymore. Counseling, therapy, even yoga; Nothing worked. The school counsellor thought it would be a good idea to write about what I think. So that is basically why I'm writing this. And I don't know if someone will ever read this. But if you do, I'm sorry for nagging so much.

My mom thinks it would help if I'd leave my room more and participate. Maybe go to a party. But she doesn't understand. It's harder to talk to people then it looks like. If I have to talk to people I barely know, my mind starts racing and my hands start sweating.

I have like two really close friends, Felix and Scott. And they aren't really the type of partying either. They are the type of kids every class has. They are shy, they love watching anime, playing games and reading comic books. They don't know how I feel because I don't want them to worry about me. I know I won't hurt myself in any way so why bother telling them I'm depressed. They won't get it anyways. We don't really talk about our feelings in general, except if it is about girls.

Speaking about girls, I have only "dated" one girl in my entire life. The reason why dated is in quotation marks is because it wasn't really dating. I was eight years old and I don't even remember her name. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get a relationship again. If I will ever get married, get kids. But maybe I'm just overthinking.

Like I said before, I barely leave my room. And that has two reasons. First of all, when I'm outside I'm always afraid I'll come across someone I know and I have to talk to them, or they will make fun of me. Secondly, it's just nice and cozy in my room. I have my television there, my radio, my laptop; And that is basically everything I ever do.

It's the first day of school tomorrow and I'm really nervous. My plan is to participate more and be less shy. But I know that will never work.

So you might be thinking "What am I reading?". Well, I just made you read the prologue of my new book "Goner". It would mean a lot if you would check it out and if you would leave feedback here in the comments or in my new book. Thanks for reading!
(Update: if you can't seem to find the book Goner it's because I'm waiting until I've written more of it before publishing the chapters)