TF2: Doctor's Assistant

(9) Weight Off the Shoulders

With Scout feeling better, it wasn't long at all before my training resumed as normal. Though I would say normal a bit more confidently if I could've spoken. I was under strict orders not to speak for at least a week or two. It was hard trying to tell others who'd asked me a question that I couldn't easily answer them, though they'd learned to remember when I'd rub my throat after they'd asked me something. 

Training had improved my aim more than anything else. Scout had come up with almost every idea in the book to help with my stamina and breathing, but to no avail. Pyro even tried to assist me after training hours in it too, but as time passed I became more and more frustrated. It was much easier said than done, and my first day of battle was coming up fast. I was starting to get extremely worried, and my confidence was starting to drop. I was surprised that a number of my team mates started to notice. So much so that everyone who passed by me in the halls or ever saw me gave me a small smile in hopes to encourage me, and I would smile back as best as I could, but continue walking past them.

Since my room was gone, I mainly resided in Medic's room, but I found myself around the clinic a lot. Something about that room just...kept me calm. I didn't know what though, and I never tried to figure it out either. Medic was usually out a lot and said I could stay in the clinic as long as I didn't touch anything. I respected his things, so I kept my hands to myself. 

On this day though, I never came out of the clinic all day. I had already decided to skip practice and just stay there...just to give myself some time to think. I just stared out the window all day long...pondering. It was raining pretty hard, and the lightning flashed, the thunder rolling across the base with a comforting rumble. I sat there for a long time, watching the rain drops gently roll down the window.

"It might be better if they did just send me away..." I said quietly to myself. "I'll never improve..." I looked down at the floor, rubbing my arms for comfort. Who was I kidding? I came here only because I wanted a sense of self worth and to learn how to work with others...but here I was...feeling worthless, sitting beside the window...alone. I curled up in the chair, hugging my knees close to my chest. 

That's when he came in...I didn't even hear him, but I remember looking over and seeing the familiar emblem of who I'd seen a lot of lately. He was standing beside me, looking down at me. For once he looked calm, but he also looked sad. My eyes immediately found the floor, embarrassed. He must've heard me talking. 

Instead of saying anything, he put a gentle hand on my back, rubbing gently as he moved his gaze out the window. I closed my eyes, taking a long breath and calming a bit. All these thoughts were ridiculous, and we both knew it. The only way I was going to get out there was toughening up not my body, but my will. As I thought this, I sighed quietly.

"I suppose you've been heir all day...?" He asked quietly. I nodded.

"Yeah...I just didn't want to be in everyone's way.." I answered. 

"Scout has been looking everyvhere for you. You do know zhat I didn't let you in my clinic so you could hide..." I stayed quiet, which caused him to kneel beside me. I just couldn't muster a look at him...I just couldn't.

"Scout...." He said in a near whisper. "Please look at me..." I did as he asked, turning my head as we found each other's eyes, my heart thudding low in my chest. "Frau...vhat has been troubling you so much..?" 

It took everything in me not to look away from him, everything else debating what to say. I could spout it out as easy as pie what was wrong. I could explain just as easily to him as I did to Pyro or Scout what was wrong. I could trust him with that much....but...I shivered, looking straight at him and whispering;

"Medic..I...I'm scared..."

"I vould've guessed that much..." He replied just as quietly. "I vould expect you to be vorried...terrified even...but.." he sighed quietly, his eyes searching me for a second before looking back into my eyes. "I've seen you train...I've seen you push yourself harder and harder...you've tried more zhan anyone ever has to improve...and you have gotten better..." My eyes widened slightly. He knew..? He only replied with a soft smile. "Scout got vorried...he came and told me to came vatch you...just in case somezhing happened...and I haven't had to ever step in...because even after you fall you get right back up..." With that, Archimedes fluttered over, landing on the side of my chair with a soft coo.  A small smile twitched at my lips. 

He smiled as well, looking back to me. "I know it seems like zhe world is on your shoulders...but you've only just started...I can promise vizh all my heart that once you get used to it...it'll come to you..." I smiled a little more, reaching over and pulling him into a gentle hug. It took a second, but I slowly felt him hug me back. 

"Thank you....so much..." I whispered.