Nowhere

Never okay

"W-what?" My voice trembled and broke. I quickly changed  my tone and in a stronger voice clarified "What do you mean 'dead'? I'm right here. I'm right in front of you." I looked searchingly around the room at the other Alphas, but they all stared back not saying a word. "Anyone? Whats going on. Seriously if this is a joke its not funny. Jace? Tyler? ". I still received no response, and I felt my anxiety take over. "SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. RIGHT. NOW."  The shouting seemed to snap tyler out of his revery, and he took a half step closer.
"You-I mean- you- you're back." He stumbled across his words, gripping the dagger by his side tightly.
" Back. From. What." My voice got lower and I growled as I got frustrated. I stared to get really worried,  doubting more and more that this was a joke. Tyler looked down nervously and fiddled with his fingers letting go of the dagger.
"I don't know how to say this." He paused thinking for a moment. When he looked back at me his eyes were filled with pity.
" TELL ME !" I growled using my alpha voice. The other werewolves stiffened even Jace who was still looking at me in shock.
" You have been brain dead. We were giving up, we were going to pull the plug tomorrow. " Tyler said his voice full of sadness and shame when he told me they were giving up. I wondered why they had given up after just a week, because I don't think Jace would give up so quic-. Fuck.
In a quiet voice I asked , "How long." Again I received no immediate response. "Tyler", i said my voice shaking "How long?" Tyler needed no more prompting.
"Three years".
We stood in silence for who knows how long as I tried to process. Nobody was brave enough to say anything fearing I would loose it.  Eventually I spoke up.
"Well. Okay. Sorry about that. But its fine now, I'm alive, you're alive, its gunna be good. Don't worry. " At this Jace looked up for the first time since he answered my question.
" No." He said his voice strong. I looked over at him confused.
"No?" I questioned carefully.
" I SAID NO. NO ITS FUCKING NOT OKAY. DEAD! YOU WERE DEAD! THREE YEARS JESS. THREE FUCKING YEARS. YOU WERE DEAD, AND I HAVE BEEN DEAD. I AM STILL DEAD. WHEN YOU DIED I DIED, AND I WILL NEVER, NEVER BE OKAY. THIS WILL NEVER BE OKAY BECAUSE- " his voice broke and he started sobbing, crying and wailing letting all his sadness out, but he kept screaming through his tears. " I JUST- HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS HAS BEEN? I STAYED WITH YOU EVERY DAY. FOR THREE YEARS. HOPING YOU WOULD WAKE UP. HOPING YOU WOULD WAKE UP. BUT YOU NEVER DID! SO YOU-" His face seemed to harden, and then soften again. His sobbing tarted up but this time quieter and softer somehow. " You don't get to tell me it's okay. Because it will never be okay." I stood, tears streaming down my face, as he walked forward and hugged me.