A Random in Re:Zero

Loop 5 - Part 27

"Children and drunks always tell the truth, Felix. You can't deny reality."

"Shut up-nya!"

Felix turned red with embarrassment and indignation, and then I stopped. Even though I enjoyed teasing him, I didn't want to go too far and hurt his feelings. I didn't investigate his past, so I didn't know what kind of traumas he had or why he behaved the way he did, but I didn't really mean to judge his personality: after all, what he did or didn't do was none of my business.

"Sorry, I'm just bothering you. Kids, remember it's wrong to discriminate against people based on their appearance."

I said that, but I felt like an idiot for giving a lecture about tolerance, something I don't normally do because it's assumed the nonsense I say is just gallows humor. However, reasonable adults are one thing, and children who can't distinguish sarcasm are another.

Felix snorted, though he relaxed noticeably.

"For a moment there I thought you were a real jerk." He said, arms crossed.

"I am, but I try to hide it." I answered quickly.

Crusch, who had been listening to everything, snorted at my response.

"I wonder if you're always this honest, or just because you know I can detect your lies when I'm here."

"Ah, it's fifty-fifty."

I gestured with my hand, but my attention was already on the half-elf woman who was looking at me expectantly. Apparently, she wasn't sure how to greet me; therefore, I did what every man is supposed to do (according to established social norms).

Take the initiative!

I moved forward until I was face to face with Emilia. She tensed when she saw my arms reaching out for her, wrapping her body in a spontaneous hug. It was something Emilia wasn't used to, and it took her by surprise.

Whether it was because of the warmth that formed between us or because she understood the meaning of the gesture, she relaxed and put her arms around my torso, reciprocating the hug.

"I'm glad to see you're safe, Emilia." I said with a big smile.

"That's what I say." She replied in a complaining tone. "You were very reckless fighting against the whale and the witch's sect..."

"Well, someone had to do it, right?" I shrugged. "Besides, everything turned out okay."

"I guess so... But I don't like that you take so many risks; it's like you don't care about your own life."

"I can't help it. Until recently, I just let life pass me by, doing nothing, uninterested in moving forward." It was true: I wasn't proud of my past. "But now I've found a purpose, a motivation to do my best."

Emilia stepped back and looked at me silently; her eyes were trembling and her cheeks turned red. I wondered if I'd said something strange, but a comment from Felix made me instantly understand everything.

"Wow, that's a bold statement-nya. Are your feelings for Lady Emilia so strong that you called her 'your motivation'?"

"Ah..."

Well, given that my last sentence had sounded quite passionate, and given that I was staring at Emilia as I spoke each word, it could be interpreted as me referring to her with that statement. I wouldn't deny it if it would score me points with her.

"Umm. I'm happy to hear I'm so important to you, but I still think you should be more careful, no matter how motivated you are... Life is important, you only have one and you should cherish it!"

"That 's the right line for the wrong person." I smiled and nodded, thinking how paradoxical that way of thinking was in my case.

Felix pinched my arm and whispered playfully in my ear.

"You're quite the womanizer. Don't you have enough with Rem? Are you planning to seduce all the women around you?"

I looked at him as if he had made a bad joke.

"Felix, the last time I touched a boob was when I groped my best friend's boobs (because he's fat). I'm the living antonym of a womanizer."

However, the femboy refused to believe me and pointed an accusatory finger at me.

"That's what you want everyone to believe, wolf in sheep's clothing!"

"Don't make me remember songs from 2014! How can I be a womanizer when I'm a virgin?"

Okay, I admit I lost my temper when I had to remember my lack of experience in that field. I hadn't had a single woman in my life for so long that this fact had become a sensitive topic for me, although it only affected me when there were women around to hear it.

It was terrifying to be watched and judged by the number of women I had. I was screwed if my reputation had to depend on that. Of course, it was very immature of me to care so much about something like that, but that's how ego works.

"Virgin? Are you a virgin?" Felix put on a poker face.

"Um." Crusch coughed uncomfortably, also poker-faced. "He's telling the truth, Felix."

"FUCK IT, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!"

I wanted to escape this by shooting myself, but I was afraid that would take me back to before my fight with the archbishops, and it would be a pain in the ass to have to fight Gluttony again.

A short time later, we returned to Roswaal's lands. As I expected, Crusch let me keep Patrasche, and we put her to pull Otto's carriage along with his dragon.

By the way, I also activated the self-destruct spell on the firearms created for the battles against Petelgeuse and the White Whale. In theory, there shouldn't be any problems with that anymore.

Now the villagers had to be returned to their homes and normality returned... Of course, that wasn't what was going to happen.

The relationship with Crusch's camp was equal to or better than in canon, a pretty positive point in my opinion, although it remained to be seen how much of an impact the fact that Crusch and Rem's memories had been kept intact would have. The death of Lye Batenkaitos was also a big change that could shake up the story in the near future. Despite that, I wasn't the least bit sorry.

When we arrived at the village, I wasn't surprised to find it empty. Everyone was confused, so I was forced to go along with it and scratch my head, feigning bewilderment.

"Ram and the others haven't returned from the Sanctuary?" Emilia deduced with concern.

"Maybe something happened and they're having trouble getting here." I'm pretty sure my acting skills are bad, but Emilia shouldn't notice. "Should we go check it out?"

"Possibly." Said Rem, who was with us. "However, I suggest checking the mansion first."

"Good idea." I turned my head and shouted to our driver. "Otto, we're going to the mansion!"

"To the mansion!?"

"You're not deaf; get going." Instead of returning to the booth, I sat next to him and whispered conspiratorially. "I'm going to introduce you to someone very special."

"You mean the Margrave?" He stammered, visibly nervous.

"Nah, there's nothing special about Roswaal, beyond his strange fetishes. I'm talking about a woman, my dear Otto. If Tappei won't give you your romance with Frederica, I will."

Ignoring his puzzled look, I patted him on the back several times, chuckling.