'till death do us part

eleven

Two months later, and our relationship was falling apart. Screaming, fighting, desperate attempts to escape. Leo fighting back with all the power he had, making sure I wouldn't leave. I hated him for it, but deep down I knew he was doing his best.

The door opened with a creak and Leo sighed a little. A bag from a toy store was held in his right hand, another held a bag of groceries. I was stood at the large bay window, one hand resting on my small bump. I was three months pregnant and trapped.

"I bought some stuff to go in the nursery... I thought we could maybe go over colour schemes?" Leo said, rubbing the back of his head. I didn't answer, mesmerised by the colours of the sky. "Becky?"

"Yeah, sure." I answered with half of my attention. He smiled, nodding a little before locking the door and walking to the kitchen.

"You like lasagna, right?" He yelled from the kitchen. I sighed and slumped into the sofa. "Becky! Becky...?"

Leo walked towards me and sat beside me. "What's going on?"

"I'm not going to do anything stupid. And I'm sick of you treating me like a little kid. You're gonna give me a key, and I'm gonna be free." I took a deep breath, proud of myself.

"Becky, I love you, but I can't, I just can't... If something happened to this baby, I don't know what I'd do.." Leo sighed.

"It's not your choice to make. If you don't let me out, I'll call the cops. You're holding me against my will."

"Becky, we agreed on this, you know we did!" He yelled, now getting angry. He sat closer to me and I flinched away before his face softened. "Shit, I'm sorry..."

I shook my head before getting up and half limping to our room, locking the door after me. My leg hurt still, and the pregnancy wasn't helping. Thoughts of my suicide attempts, Leo talking me down from the bridge, talking me out of killing myself in his own apartment, they all flooded through my brain, but none of it mattered to me. I wanted this baby more than anything, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. The balcony doors in our room had been locked the whole time, and not once had I thought about smashing them. I grabbed a small bedside lamp and smashed it against the window. Leo ran to the door, desperately trying to open it.

"Becky! Becky what the fuck are you doing!? Open the door right now!"

I stared out the doors for a minute and wondered if I should escape, if I should run. Leo was kicking at the door by this time and I had to act fast. I took Leo's jacket and ran down the fire escape and onto the streets. I put my hands in my pockets and checked for money. $20.

Wondering the streets, I thought about my mom and Pete. Before my dad died, my mom was the kindest woman I knew. She was beautiful and caring, and I loved her. This woman that she had become was a monster, and I didn't love her. Memories of Pete came flooding back, memories of finding my dads body, memories of standing by a bridge or next to a bottle of bleach... I just wanted it all to stop. I ran for miles, into the bad side of town, searching for a sloppy drug den somewhere. I needed a fix.