across the bar

03|perfromstar

Selene.

The bar was already buzzing when I stepped inside — warm lights casting halos over every face. The guy at the door caught my eye immediately. He asked, "Relaxed or not so relaxed?"

Without missing a beat, I smiled and said, "Chaos."

He nodded like he knew exactly what I meant and let me straight to the bar. Evelyn noticed and walked over, matching my grin. I ordered a red-bull and Vodka, the dark amber liquid swirling like a secret promise. Evelyn got the same.

We started dancing. The music was loud, the kind that makes you forget everything except the beat.

One of the bartenders came over and asked where we were from "Here," I said, and he just smiled before going back.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a guy — sitting across the bar, watching me. Our eyes locked briefly. There was something electric in the way he looked, like he could see right through the surface.

Evelyn noticed my glance. "Stop looking at him," she whispered, laughing. "Just have fun."

But I didn't look away. There was a pull there, magnetic and impossible to deny. Our eyes met again, longer this time, and I felt a spark I hadn't felt in forever.

Another bartender appeared next to us just as I was catching my breath, resting my head on the bar for a moment. "Are you tired?" He asked, voice low and teasing. "Come on, party with me"

I laughed, a little breathless. And shook my head. But he didn't leave. Instead, he kept talking — light, easy conversation that made the space around me feel less heavy.

Shots came next, fast and sharp. I dared Evelyn to do them, and she accepted. The burn hit my throat, and suddenly the room felt warmer, looser. We danced harder, sang louder, the noise blurring into a wild pulse that kept my heart racing.

At some point the bartender that gave us our first drinks, gave us free shots. "From me" he said. I caught Evelyn's eye, both of us smiling like we'd just won something.

The night spun on — then I sat back down at the bar. Drunk and tired. We took some more shots. I caught the guy across the bars eye again. He winked at me, I smiled back.

Performing. Like I always do.

It works best when you look delicate. When you have a sense of hurt behind your eyes, when your eyes say "I've been through more than you can imagine." People are intrigued by it. They want to know what you've been through.

I always stare a few seconds longer than most people would. It leaves my mark on them, has them thinking of me after I leave. I like it like that.

I look away from the guy and smile at Evelyn, she has her phone recording in her hand. I smile and blow a kiss towards the camera.

Evelyn and I are very different. I don't post much on social media, I don't follow many people. She follows at least 2000, and posts on her main accounts like it's her spam.

Evelyn is a sanctuary for my soul. The kind of person that makes you feel like you can breathe just by sitting beside her. She has a million friends, always buzzing in and out of her phone, her life, her world — but somehow, she always makes space for me. When I unravel she doesn't flinch. She doesn't rush to fix it either. She just listen. That's the thing about Evelyn — she doesn't try to change your broken parts, she just sits in the dark with you until it feels like morning again.

She's funny, brutally honest, and wild in ways I envy. People orbit her. Not just because she's beautiful, but because she's magnetic. Messy, soft, chaotic — but in the most captivating way.