The Fall of Alexander the Great (Monteverde Series 3)

24

Because if you really love someone, how can you not fight for them?

"Blythe, hello? Are you still there?" Napapitlag ako.

"I am. Sorry for zoning out. Ano nga 'yun uli?"

"Dinner at 8 pm. Gustav's. What do you say?"

"Sure, that would be amazing. So, see you later?"

"See you later." I hung up. I placed my face on my palm and stayed in that position for a short while. Ibinalik ko sa laptop ang tingin ko. Ini-edit ko na ang mga photos na kinuha ko sa debut ng isang kilalang artista kahapon. I will have to send the portfolio to them a week from now. Marami pa naman akong oras pero gusto kong ayusin na ngayon pa lang. Nang pumatak ang 5 pm ay nagpaalam na ako kay Terry.

I went to the mall and headed to a salon to have my hair done.

"Gusto mo bang gawin nating pink ang buhok mo, madam? Mukhang bagay rin sa'yo." "No, I'd like to keep it blue. Thank you."

Nang matapos siya ay nagbigay ako ng tip at umalis. Nagdrive ako pauwi sa apartment ni Amanda. I showered quickly and picked a tight-fitting black dress. I wore a nude lipstick for tonight's look. When I heard the sound of Avix's Mercedes in front, I hurried down the stairs just to find my sister at the base of it.

"You cut your hair!"

"Kanina lang. Bagay naman sa akin, 'di ba?"

Tumango siya. "It made you look younger." She noticed my attire and her face formed a big question mark. "You're going out with that Avix guy again, aren't you?" she asked, showing her obvious dislike towards him.

"I am," turan ko bago tuluyang bumaba ng hagdan. I know how ready she is to give me another speech, but I'm just not in the mood to listen to one right now.

"I don't like him for you." She held my arm. "Nag-aalala ako para sa'yo."

"Mands, don't be. Kaya ko 'to."

"We're bestfriends, right? Sisters. Pero bakit naglilihim ka sa 'kin? Simula nang bumalik ka hindi ka na tulad ng dati. I mean, you're still the tough person I know, but somehow you're more distant and aloof."

"Okay lang ako. Ikaw talaga. There's nothing to be worried about."
"Is it about Alexander?"

"Please do not mention his name."

"I was right. Siya nga ang dahilan. Did he hurt you?"

Imbes na sagutin ko siya ay naglakad na ako palabas. "My date is waiting. We'll talk some other time, Mands. Don't stay up too late, okay? Good night."

Paglabas ko ay natanaw ko si Avix na nakasandal sa kotse. He beamed at me and I tried my best to return the smile.

"Bagay sa'yo." Ininguso niya ang buhok ko at nagpasalamat ako. Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto at agad akong sumakay. Habang nagdadrive siya ay nakapatong ang isang kamay niya sa hita ko. Somehow, noong si Alexander ang gumagawa noon ay kumportable ako.

"Hindi kaya mapanis ang laway natin dito? Can we make out?"

Tumango ako. Ipinarada niya sa gilid ang sasakyan at humarap sa 'kin.

"You look so hot." Despite the heat of our bodies, I felt the coldness of my own heart. I kissed him, trying to cheat myself, trying to lie to my feelings and for a second, I almost convinced myself. Almost. Bumaba ang halik niya sa baba ko, papunta sa leeg ko.

He is a good kisser, but somehow I feel myself wishing for something else, for someone else. I wanted a different set of lips kissing me. I wanted a different set of hands touching me. But that person probably isn't thinking about me anymore. So, I let Avix do things to me.

Naramdaman ko ang kamay niyang humaplos sa likod ko. His hand was just above the zipper of my dress and then I felt him reach for it. He tugged it down.

Suddenly, I shivered in revulsion for myself.

I can hear Alexander's voice inside my head telling me he is in love with me.

Goodness. I can't do it with Avix. It feels... wrong.

I feel like crying because of the stupid choices I have made. I detached myself from his arms and sat back on my seat. I fumbled for the zipper of my dress, but my finger could not locate it.

"Let me." Avix reached behind and pulled the zipper up and that's when the tears started to fall. He hushed me and asked what he did wrong, but I shook my head and told him he didn't do anything.

"Please bring me home." Tumalima siya agad. We drove back while I silently wept wishing I had done things differently. Nang ihimpil niya ang kotse sa tapat ng apartment ay agad akong bumaba. Bago ako pumasok ay binigyan ko siya ng nahihiyang tingin.

"I'm sorry I ruined dinner plans."

"It's okay." He held the steering wheel tighter. "I guess we were too fast. Pasensya na, Blythe. I didn't mean to disrespect you, kung 'yun ang iniisip mo. I just..."

"No, it's not that." Umiling ako. "Ako 'yung may problema. I have issues that are unsettled and I feel guilty na nadadamay ka. Hindi dapat gano'n. I should have been better than that."

Tumango siya na parang alam niya na kung ano ang tinutukoy ko.

"Is this the last time we're going to see each other?" he asked.

I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him we can remain friends and that he can always call me whenever something comes up. But I am so sick of my bullshit.

For once, I did the thing that felt right. I nodded. "Yes."

"I respect that." Nginitian niya ako. "You stay safe out there, pretty woman."

"You too." I waved. "Good night, Avix."

He winked as the glass window rolled up. He backed away from the driveway and left me standing there, cold and confused. I walked back inside and found Amanda working on the living room. She looked up and creased her eyebrows.

"I thought may date ka. Anong nangyari?"
Imbes na sumagot ay lumapit ako sa kanya at yumakap. "How do I make the pain stop?"