The Fall of Alexander the Great (Monteverde Series 3)

23

Chapter Twenty-Three

ALEXANDER

The bar's loud blaring music is blasting on every corner of this small congested hellhole.

"Hey, man. Alexiana's going to kill me if I don't bring you home alive." Vane, who was sitting just beside me, patted me on the back. I raised my head and ordered another hard liquor. The alcohol burned its way down my throat and settled itself on the pit of my stomach.

Ni minsan ay hindi ko inakalang malalagay ako sa ganitong sitwasyon. Pakiramdam ko ay pinupunit ang puso ko dahil sa lungkot.

"She just left me," bulong ko. Mula sa gilid ng mata ko ay nakita ko ang pag-upo ni Vane ng maayos bago siya humarap sa akin.

"I'm guessing it must've felt really painful, huh?" There was a hint of teasing in his tone that I looked up to scowl at him. I don't need sarcasm at this point.

"Obviously, you asshole."

"They come and go, man. Minsan akala mo sila na, pero hindi pa pala. Though we really liked her for you. She was nice and got along well with Nana. Tapos mukhang may pinag-aralan pa."

"I'm trying to forget, Vane. That's not helping."

Natatawang nagkibit-balikat siya bago umorder na rin ng sariling drink.

When Blythe left earlier, hindi ako lumabas ng kuwarto. Narinig ko ang boses niyang nagpapaalam kay Alexiana. Narinig ko ang paghangos ni Nana para pagbaunan siya ng pili. Narinig ko rin ang pag-arangkada ng sasakyan ni Vane para ihatid siya sa airport.

Nagpaalam ako sa kanila na aalis kaya hiniram ko ang motorbike at pumunta rito. Maya-maya lang ay tinabihan na ako ni Vane dahil nag-aalala raw sa akin si Alexiana kaya pinasundan ako.

"I deserve the mother of all fucking apologies from her." Mapait akong ngumiti.

"You can't blame her, dude! Kung nahihirapan siyang magtiwala ay malamang na may trust or personal issues na siya simula pa dati. Those are not things you can easily overcome. It takes time." He propped his chin on his palm.

"I could have worked with her to solve those issues."

"That is not how it works. Minsan kailangang ikaw ang aayos ng sarili mong gusot. Kailangan niya 'yong marealize sa sarili niya at kung hindi niya pa kayang sumubok at maniwala sa'yo ngayon, baka nga hindi pa siya handa." He suddenly pointed to a bevy of girls a couple of tables away from where we were. "Tell you what, you see that girl over there?" I followed where his finger was pointing, but there were simply too many people for me to figure out who he was referring to.

Tinungga ko ang kaka-order ko lang na alcohol. "There's a dozen of 'em."

"That one in the dark blue dress." My eyes scanned the group to look for a woman that fits his description. My eyebrow arched when I found the subject.

"She looks okay. I suggest you have some fun tonight!"

"Siraulo!" I muttered under my breath. I am convinced that Vane would like to set me up tonight. Tinignan kong muli ang babaeng tinuro niya. Ngayon ay nagsisimula na itong sumayaw sa dance floor at napakalambot ng mga galaw nito.

I thought about the way Blythe told me she doesn't want me anymore.

That hurt like hell.

It felt like someone dropped anvil on top of my head.

I should not be thinking about her. I should not be hurting right now because of the thought of not seeing her again. I should not be drowning myself in alcohol hoping to abate all the pain. She has made her choice. I should make mine.

I made my way to the women's table. They all hustled close and giggled when I leaned forward. "Hey, ladies."

"Hey, hot stuff," malamyos na sabi ng isang matangkad na babae sa gilid ko. She had a raunchy smile on her lips and she instantly looped her arm around mine. Ang daming agam-agam sa likod ng utak ko, pero nang maalala kong malaya nga pala ako ay nanumbalik ang matinding pait sa puso ko.

You want me to leave you alone, Blythe?

You want out?

Fine, love.

"Actually, I had my eyes on her." Ininguso ko ang babaeng itinuro kanina sa 'kin ni Vane. Napangisi siya sa mga kasama niya at nagagalak na lumapit.

"You heard that. He wants me, Eliana. Move away."

"What's your name?" I asked, my tone unsteady as I once again thought about Blythe. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung ano ang ginagawa niya ngayon. Inis na ibinaling ko na lang sa babaeng katabi ko ang buo kong atensyon.

"The name's Marcy, lover boy. You are?"

"Mark," I smiled. I couldn't think of a much better name so I came up with the first thing that popped in my head. "Mind if we dance?" tanong ko bago pinisil ang tagiliran niya.

"Not at all. Take me away, Romeo."

Nagpunta kami sa dance floor. For a while, all we did was dance to the upbeat music. Pero nang lumipat ang tugtog ay mas naging mapang-akit ang mga galaw niya. She bit her lip while tracing her finger from my neck down to my chest. Hinawakan ko siya sa baywang at idinikit ang sarili ko sa kanya.

"You dance well" She was giggling. "I like men who dance well."

I gave her an equally flirtatious smile before pulling her close to me.

"Dance some more for me." Ikinawit niya ang dalawang braso niya sa leeg ko habang nagsasayaw siya. Magkadikit na magkadikit ang katawan naming dalawa. I reached for her butt and squeezed harshly.

"Ah, you want it rough."

"I like it sexy," I replied. She pulled me away from the dance floor and started kissing me. I kissed her back and tried to pretend she was someone else. I tried to picture Blythe's face and that's when I snapped out of it.

What the hell am I doing? This is wrong. I can't disrespect her like this.

My chest was heaving when I let go of her lips. Mukhang hindi niya napansin ang pagiging disoriented ko. She kissed my neck but all I felt was disgust for myself because of how poorly I have made this decision.

"I'm sorry." My head was throbbing when I backed away. "I can't do this." I quickly turned my back and pushed through all the people on the dance floor. I made my way back to Vane who was still sitting on the stool.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Lay off." I rolled my eyes. "I'm going home."

"Buti naman. Ang dami ng nainom mo. I'll take the wheel."

Habang nagda-drive si Vane ay kinakausap niya ako. Masyado siyang madaldal at lalo lang sumasakit ang ulo ko dahil sa pang-uusisa niya sa akin. Nang makarating kami sa bahay a agad akong sinalubong ng nag-aalala kong kakambal.

"Aldeng! You're so drunk!" bulalas niya. "Goodness."

"I'm okay. Gusto ko na lang matulog." Dumeretso ako sa kwarto at ibinagsak ko ang sarili ko sa kama. Bumukas ang pinto at nakita ko si Alexiana. Nag-abot siya sa akin ng isang basong tubig na mabilis kong ininom.

"I'm going back to Manila tomorrow." Mukhang hindi na siya nagulat sa sinabi ko. Sumagot na lang siya sa pamamagitan ng pagtango.

"'Wag ka na uling maglalasing ganyan, Alexander." She acted like a stern parent that I could not help but smile a little. "Paano na si Blythe? Are you going to chase after her?"

Umiling ako. "I'll wait until she's ready. Alam kong magiging okay rin kami eventually. Siguro, kailangan niya lang talaga ngayon ng time mapag-isa at makapag-isip."

"How do you know she's coming back kapag naging okay na siya?"

"She loves me," I responded confidently.

"Did she say that?"

"She doesn't need to."