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It was supposed to be a normal day.

They weren't even on TikTok yet. Nick was on FaceTime with their manager. Matt was raiding the fridge. Chris was half-asleep on the floor. Sam was scrolling Spotify like he hadn't been obsessively refreshing Melinda's page every few hours since the last post.

Colby: bursts into the room, holding his phone like it's a grenade
"Y'ALL. SHE POSTED. AND SHE DROPPED THE WATTPAD USERNAME."

Nick: immediately yelling from across the house "NO. WAY."

Chris: sits up so fast he literally chokes "WHAT IS IT?!"

Colby: grinning "Let me just play the video. You need the full experience."

[TikTok Video – Melinda appears, deadpan as ever, no makeup, hoodie on, nails still sharp. She sounds vaguely tired. Vaguely chaotic.]

Melinda (on screen):
"OK. I've seen the comments. Like. A lot of comments."

She sighs like she didn't expect to be doing this but also finds it hilarious.

Melinda:
"My Wattpad username is SatansApprentice666. Yes. That's real. No, I'm not changing it."

Nick: already laughing so hard he falls off the couch "SHE'S SO INSANE I LOVE HER."

Chris: "No bc that's exactly the chaotic energy I expected from her."

Melinda:
"I have stories for the Winchesters. Luke Dunphy. Jeremy Gilbert. Spencer Reid. Sam Golbach. Matt Sturniolo. Even a story where Chris gets a love interest too — but it's mostly a Matt story. Sorry, Chris. You show up late."

Matt: blinking "She WROTE FANFIC ABOUT ME—?!"

Chris: offended but smiling "Why am I the backup???"

Melinda:
"I also have original stuff. Like, actually published chapters. If you're into unhinged, romantic, dark humor bullshit... you're welcome. Go wild. Or don't. I don't care. I'm not gonna lie to you — some of it's very old. Don't judge me too hard. Okay, bye."

Click. Video ends.

Nick: "Satan's Apprentice 666. Satan's. Apprentice. Six. Six. Six."

Colby: already typing on his phone "Yup. Found it. It's real. She wasn't lying. She's posted like... a lot."

Jake: walking in mid-chaos "What's happening now?"

Chris: "WE HAVE ACCESS TO HER BRAIN. UNCENSORED. PUBLISHED."

Matt: weirdly quiet "...What if she's a good writer?"

Sam: already staring into his phone, unmoving
"She writes stories about me."

Colby: "You okay?"

Sam:
"I don't know. I think I need to sit down. Even though I'm already sitting."

Chris: leaning in "So... are we reading them?"

Nick: grinning "Already two chapters in. She gave Spencer Reid a panic attack and made it sexy. She's brilliant."

Sam: barely above a whisper
"She writes like she speaks. But softer."

Found You in the Algorithm  ~ Sam golbachWhere stories live. Discover now