Found You in the Algorithm ~ Sam golbach

9

They weren't even trying to check TikTok this time. But they didn't need to.

Because the video? It found them.

Colby's phone lit up. He turned it to Matt.
Matt screamed.
Chris started laughing before he knew why.
Nick just whispered, "Noooo fucking way..."

Nick: "Melinda just posted a full breakdown of 'Nice of You.' The song. The Kat song."

Chris: "Oh she's really trying to make Sam pass out."

Sam: already groaning "You're joking. Please tell me you're joking."

Colby: grinning hard "Dead serious. She's holding no punches, again."

Matt: "Sam, I say this with love: You have to watch it. You just have to."

Jake: "I got popcorn. Let's go."

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[TikTok Video Begins – "Let's Talk 'Nice of You' – Because I've Got Thoughts No One Else Has Said"]

Melinda (on screen):
"Alright, let's get into it. 'Nice of You' — aka the song about Sam. I'm breaking it down because no one else has, and I've got ADHD so my brain sees patterns y'all don't."

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▶️ Line: "Knew how to cry on cue / An entertainer"

Melinda:
"First of all — Sam has been on the internet since before puberty hit. Of course he knows how to cry on cue. But that doesn't mean every time he cried with you, it was fake. That's not how emotions work."

Colby: snorts "Melinda really said, 'Just because I'm dramatic doesn't mean I'm lying.'"

Sam: mutters "I actually hated crying on camera."

Melinda:
"And let's be honest — if he was so 'fake' and 'bad'... why did you stay with him for six years? Hm? That doesn't make sense. You don't stay with a villain for six years unless the villain is a little more nuanced than your lyrics make it sound."

Jake: "She's going lawyer mode again."

Chris: laughing "She's dragging her without even raising her voice. That's terrifying."

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▶️ Line: "Go 50/50 like a teenager"

Melinda:
"I'm almost positive the reason this line exists is because Sam probably said, 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you,' and then when Kat was ready to get married, Sam said, 'I'm not ready yet.'"

Melinda:
"Suddenly it's 50/50 'like a teenager'? Nah. That's not how it works. He can love you deeply and still not be ready to get married at the exact moment you are. That's called being honest. That's called being human. Not immature."

Matt: softly "This is what people forget. Timing matters. That's not a crime."

Sam: silent, jaw clenched, blinking fast

Colby: gently "You good?"

Sam: low "She's literally saying everything I couldn't."

Melinda:
"You chose to say, 'Okay then you don't want it,' just because you couldn't control the narrative anymore. That wasn't about him being unsure — that was about you being uncomfortable with not getting your way."

Nick: "She just exposed the emotional chessboard."

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▶️ Line: "Said you were gonna take your time / Only took you six months"

Melinda:
"OK. OK OK OK OK. If you think six months is too short to move on? Fine. You're allowed to feel that way."

Melinda:
"But that says more about your version of grief than it does about Sam. Because guess what? Sam probably started dating Kaitlyn because she was there when he was breaking. And that kind of comfort? That can turn into love. Or grief-love. It's messy. It's real. It's not fake."

Chris: "She's rewriting the psychology textbooks at this point."

Jake: "I feel like I'm in a TED Talk but it's better because she's swearing."

Melinda:
"It's called grief. Grief does weird things to your brain. And sometimes, love grows out of survival. If she was there during the worst of it? It makes sense that feelings happened."

Sam: very quietly "That's... exactly what happened."

Colby: nodding, serious now "She gets it. She really gets it."

⸻

Melinda (final thoughts):
"I'm not trying to say Kat didn't hurt. I'm not trying to say she's a bad person. But the narrative of that song? It's not the whole story. And I notice the holes — because ADHD brains? We don't let stuff slide. Especially when people act like grief is linear, or love is simple. It's not. It's never been."

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[Video ends]

⸻

Silence.

The kind that lingers.

Sam: finally, after a long pause
"She just told my story... and I didn't even tell her."

Colby: softly "Maybe someone finally saw you, man."

Matt: "She made grief human. Not weak. Not shameful. Just real."

Chris: to Sam "Do you feel better? Or worse?"

Sam: exhales "Both. But mostly better."

Nick: "I think I love her."

Jake: grinning "Join the club."

Corey: grabbing his phone "Y'all can fall in love. I'm just trying to see if she's single."

Colby: smirking at Sam "She has a 3AM hoodie. A never normal tattoo. And a spine tattoo inspired by your lyric. You know what that means, right?"

Sam: blinking slowly, overwhelmed
"...That I should probably message her."