Not a Flower - A Novel

Chapter 12

Once Grace was back in Minnesota, it was like nothing had changed—at least outwardly. Because inside, everything had changed.

She had gone to Wales as an unaware bitter young woman, angry at herself and the world for the unfair hand that fate had dealt her when it came to love and family. The woman who returned was no longer angry. She was hurting from the battles fought with her inner demons—but she was also on her way to being healed and a stronger person for it. And the bitterness she hadn't even really been aware of was gone.

It made life feel different, full of possibilities and hope.

At night she would sometimes pull the letters out and read them, feeling as if her sister was there with her again. And even though it made her think too often of the man who had given the letters to her, she forgave herself. After all, what woman could ever forget Adrian Roussiard once she had met him? It hadn't just been his dazzling looks that made him so unforgettable—it had been everything about him. His dry sense of humor and his innate honesty; the strength of character that he'd had even as a boy that had enabled him to prevail despite the terrible events that had forced him to leave his home behind.

Sometimes she wished that she had agreed to an affair with him. What would it have been like, to be his lover? He was such a passionate man—and she had lived without passion for so long.

But Grace was determined not to spend life regretting what could have been. She also knew that although she might have been happy for a brief moment with an affair, eventually it would probably have ended badly for both of them. He wasn't the type of guy to settle down with one woman—and she had already been feeling far too much for him. It was better that she had ended it the way it had. This way she could start anew and despite the bittersweet experience with Duval, she knew that she wanted to experience love again.

Grace threw away her ill-fitting frumpy clothes and bought some things that were more flattering to her slim shape. She bought makeup and learned how to use it, garnering compliments at work.

And when a handsome visiting doctor at St. Kate's asked her out on a date a few months after she came home from England, Grace accepted tentatively. She was in no rush to get into a relationship—but she was no longer hiding from life either.

Shutting the door behind her, Grace sighed and dropped her purse to the floor. This was the second date with Dr. Brad Thomson and he had just kissed her outside before regretfully leaving. It had been obvious that he had been hoping to get invited in. She had seen the expectation in his rather attractive brown eyes.

So why hadn't she?

Biting her lips, she kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen in search of some ice cream. Once she was settled in with a carton of Edy's caramel pecan swirl, Grace admitted to herself what she had been afraid of for the last few days.

She wasn't interested in Dr. Brad Thomson.

It just didn't make sense. Brad was handsome with his dark hair and brown eyes. He was an interesting person and he had a dry sense of humor that was even more attractive then his chiseled cheekbones and broad shoulders. But when he had kissed her—nothing.

Frustrated, Grace scooped a huge spoonful of caramel pecan swirl into her mouth and swallowed. Tears squeezed out at the coldness numbing her head.

She wondered how Adrian was doing. If he had cleared things with Duval or if they were still fighting. If he ever thought about her.

Or the kisses in the maze.

Her face flamed and she ate more ice cream to cool it. The last thing she wanted to be doing was to be obsessing over another impossible man. So why was she even thinking about him?