Unity

Chapter Twenty Four

Levi sighed.

"How much?"

"One hundred." Levi gaped at me and shook his head.

"Fifty," he protested.

"I only go for one hundred." Levi grunted and pulled out one hundred pounds and handed it to me. I put it in my back pocket. "Let's get this over with." Levi looked at me for a second and sighed.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Levi stared at me, but I still never gave him eye contact. "What about Eren? Why the fuck are you a prostitute?"

"I don't want to give you my life story. I don't like you. I want to leave as fast as possible." Levi stared at me for a second but didn't say anything. Levi looked down and stared at his hands for a minute, but remembered what he was here for.

Levi unzipped his pants and pulled 'it' out. I stared at it for a while before I did anything. I did not want to do this. Especially to him. But still, I leaned down, opened my mouth, and gave him what he payed me to do.

Levi put his hand in my hair and moaned a bit, and I kept going until he reached the point in which he wanted me to stop. He kept tangling his fingers in my hair and he did not let me lift my head up. To be fair, I didn't try to. I didn't have any dignity left. I didn't care.

After roughly 3 or 4 minutes, Levi finally said it was okay for me to stop. I lifted my head and wiped my mouth. I tried to get out of his car, but he started talking again.

"You look pretty beat up. What happened to your face?" I turned back around at him.

"You wouldn't care." I tried to get out again, but he replied again.

"Armin, I was really mean to you in high school."

"Don't you think I know that?" Levi gave me a surprisingly sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry. You don't look like you're in a good place." I turned away from him and shut his car door. I stood behind the same club again and watched Levi drive away. He's changed but I think it's only because he realized how much of a douchebag he was.

I lit a cigarette and brought it up to my mouth. I just bought a new pack earlier that day, so I was good for the next day. It has gotten to the point where if I don't have some cigarettes with me, I get anxious. 

I've really destroyed myself.

.   .   .

"How much?" I was sitting in a stranger's car with another random gay man.

"How often do you pay people to do this to you?" the man looked at me curiously. He was probably used to people just giving him what he wanted and leaving.

"I just started paying people to do this recently."

"Why?" He gave me full eye contact and looked down at his hands.

"My, uhm, my husband left me." I looked down at my feet and thought about Eren. I left him... I left my husband because I thought he needed to pull himself together... and he's probably doing something even worse to himself now than what he was before. I couldn't stay here... I needed to go home. I needed to stay there with Eren... He's not okay. I'm not okay. We're both really, really not okay right now. Eren needed support right now and I also needed support. Eren's right. He doesn't need medicine. He needs to stay sober. He needs someone to talk to. He needs me. I needed Eren, too. I can't fend for myself and I'm not happy all alone.

I opened the car door and went outside.

"Where are you going?" I turned around towards the man whilst letting the wind blow my hair around.

"To see my husband." I closed the car door behind me and walked back home... it felt nice to call it home. Even if it's only been five days, never in nine years have I been away from Eren that long. It may seem crazy, but it really hasn't ever been that long. I started living with him literally the day I met him and it's never changed. I've only realized now how much he means to me. Even if he is an angry, bipolar, alcoholic, I'm still in love with him. He loves me too, even though I'm a socially awkward, insecure, transgender person, I know he loves me. He told me nearly every day for nine years.

Nothing can tear us apart. Not this easily.

I threw away my cigarettes in the nearest garbage can and threw my lighter in a sewer. If I wanted Eren to stop drinking, I have to stop smoking. It's easier for me because I've been smoking for only a week. Eren's been an alcoholic for a bit over two years now, but I was going to help him stop.

I didn't realize it before, but it's not him that's the only problem. I need to talk to him. He needs a bit of guidance and I'm the only one who can give it to him. We've been irreparable for nine years... I can't just leave.

We've been through too much shit together to just part like this.

I found my way to our apartment and I looked up at the windows. The lights were on and I saw cans and bottles of beer and shot glasses and glasses of wine on the windowsill. It's my fault they're there, too. If I'd just stayed then I could have helped him out of his problem... but I was selfish.

My feet made their way up the front steps ever so quietly. I was hesitant to knock on the door, but once I did, I was glad I did so. I heard footsteps come their way to the door and soon our front door open. A very bad looking Eren appeared at the front door. Tears appeared in my eyes, but I made no attempt to wipe them away.

I could tell Eren hadn't shaved since I left. It doesn't look like he's been eating, either. There were several bottles of beer, empty wine glasses, and empty shot glasses lying around in our apartment. Eren looked at me with wide eyes that were starting to tear up. He dropped the wine glass that he was holding in his left hand. It shattered on the ground, but I could tell that neither of us cared in the slightest.

"A-Armin," Eren pulled me close against his chest and kept me there for at least five minutes. He was crying a bit, but tears were flooding out of my eyes, yet I make no sound. Eren pulled away from me and looked at my face. "What happened to you?" Eren touched the bruises and scabs on my face. He looked at the burn marks on my arm from where I lit out my cigarettes. He stroke a hand through my messy hair and rested it on my shoulder.

"I really messed up," Eren kept looking at me with tears in his eyes, though they were not running down his face nearly as much as mine were. "I really fucking messed up," Eren reached for something in his back pocket and held whatever it was extremely tightly in his hands.

"I'm in love with you, Armin," I looked over at his left hand and noticed that he never took his ring off. "and I'm so sorry for what I said. I was drunk and couldn't think. I'm really an asshole and would understand if you didn't love me back, but know that I really, really, really love you." I gulped back the lump in my throat and a single drop of a tear ran down my cheek.

"I love you too," Eren's hand was stroking the back of my neck but I was still standing completely still.

"Do you still want to be my husband?" I nodded my head. I had nothing else to do. I was too sad to do anything else, but I don't know why I was sad. I was back with Eren.

But he wasn't doing good. We both weren't.

Eren grabbed my left hand and held out my ring that he'd been holding tightly in one of his hands. He slid it onto my ring finger with very shaky hands. Eren looked back up into my eyes and continued to hold my hand. He leaned in and kissed me the softest he's ever before. It wasn't really a kiss, but it was more like our lips were just touching. Neither of us felt enough passion to actually kiss right now. We put holes in our relationship that weren't repairable.

But I think that because of those holes, we would never separate. 

We've gone through too much to do anything like that.

A/N: I'm not sure if that was quite as sad as I planned it out to be. I don't really know BUUUUTTTTTT i still think it might have crushed a little bit of feels. maybe. hehe I don't know

Is it bad if I had a lot of fun writing this chapter? Idk I kind of feel like a bad person now. Oh well.