Before I fall

4. Broken part of me

Neither of us spoke for a long time. The only sounds were the quiet hum of the diner, the occasional clatter of plates from the kitchen, and the soft scrape of Ronan's fork against his plate.

I forced myself to eat another bite of pancake, even though I wasn't really hungry. Not because I wanted to, not because I suddenly cared about taking care of myself but because Ronan was watching me. I could feel it. Not in a pitying way, not even in a worried way. Just... like he was making sure I didn't disappear.

It was unsettling and maybe worse than that...it made me feel something. I exhaled, pushing my plate away and leaning back against the booth. "Happy now?"

Ronan took a sip of coffee, smirking over the rim of his mug. "Not exactly the word I'd use, but yeah. I'll take it."

I crossed my arms, watching him. "You always this persistent?"

He grinned. "Only when people try to jump off rooftops in front of me."

I rolled my eyes. "Lucky me, then."

"Damn right," he said, setting his coffee down.

I should have been annoyed. Should have hated that he thought he had any say in what I did or didn't do, but instead, I found myself wanting to be annoyed. Wanting to feel something, even if it was irritation. Because irritation was better than the emptiness I'd been drowning in.

The waitress walked by, dropping off the check without a word. I instinctively reached for my hoodie pocket before remembering I had nothing. Ronan didn't even look at me before sliding his card onto the bill.

I frowned. "I could've paid."

He snorted. "With what?"

My jaw clenched. He wasn't wrong.

I slumped back into the booth, arms still crossed. "You're really fucking annoying."

"You already said that," he said, standing up.

I stayed seated. "You don't have to do all this, you know."

He shoved his hands in his hoodie, tilting his head. "All what?"

I gestured vaguely between us. "This. Acting like you give a shit."

His smirk faded just a little. "What if I do?"

Something in my chest pulled tight. I forced a laugh. "Then that's your mistake."

Ronan didn't smile. He didn't look away. He just exhaled slowly, shaking his head. "Come on, Leighton"

I hesitated, then, without another word, I followed him out into the night. The cold hit harder when we stepped outside. The diner's warmth had tricked me into thinking it wasn't that bad, but the second we were back in the night air, my body curled in on itself, trying to keep in what little heat I had.

Ronan didn't seem to notice. He walked ahead, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets, his breath visible in the cold. I could still feel the weight of what he'd said before we left.

What if I do? I hated that it stuck in my head. That I kept thinking about it. That I kind of, just a little, wanted to believe it.

I trailed behind him toward his car, hesitating when he pulled open the driver's side door. "You don't have to take me anywhere. I can walk."

He shot me a look over the roof of the car. "Not happening."

I huffed, crossing my arms. "You can't just decide..."

"Leighton." His voice was calm, but firm. "Just get in the car."

I hesitated a second too long. Then, before I could stop myself, I reached for the door handle and climbed inside.