C h a p t e r 5

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I woke up early this morning, grabbed my laptop, sorted the playlist for tonights show then i went on twitter. Oh shit. I thought as i seen many pictures of me and Camila at the lake last night.

"Girl Group Member Camila Cabello and Rumoured Girlfriend Y/F/N Seemed to have had a great time at the lake last night"

"Camila and y/n last night! Does this mean they are official?"

I shut my eyes and sigh. This is all Camila needs.

"I guess you've seen twitter huh" i hear Camila saying. I turn around to face her and she is leaning against the doorway.

I nod at her and look down. "Are you uhm...okay?" I ask quietly

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head "truthfully no"

"Camila"

"No listen to me" she cuts me off

"We can't do this" she almost whispers and i feel my heart break inside

"What do you mean we can't do this" i narrow my eyes

"I can't be with you and you can't be with me ok thats what i mean by we can't do this" she says a little louder

I stand up from the chair and run my hand through my hair

"Look whatever has been posted online has been done now and nothing can change that, why does that have to change us?" I say clenching my jaw

"Y/N! The pictures are the problem! Now everyone has seen them! The fans, the girls, even my goddam parents have seen them and they don't even know i have feelings for a girl. I didn't even know i could have feelings for a girl until you" she whispers the last bit looking to the ground

I shake my head and close my eyes.
"Well i have family and friends on twitter, don't you think I'm worried about what they might think too? But the one thing that is stopping me from worrying so much is that i love you so much i don't even care what people think" i say walking closer to her holding back the tears and i can see she is too.

"Well i do care" she says as a tear rolls down her face which breaks me

"Well you shouldn't. If you really felt the way you told me you did the other night, nothing should get in the way" i say in anger and upset. I walk out the door and i sit outside where no fans or anything can see me. I must of been sitting there for a good hour or so, thinking about how fucked up this has become.

"There you are! Where the hell have you been!" Dinah shouts sounding worried

I shake my head and say nothing. She sits down beside me

"What the hell has happened y/n?" She asks sounding concerned

"I lost her before i even had her" i whisper as i am so upset

"What do you mean?" Dinah asks

"She doesn't want an 'us'. She can't do it because shes so worried about what everyone else thinks" i say holding my head in my hands still trying my best to hold back the tears.

"No way. No way did she say that! What is she thinking!" Dinah shouts

"Dinah, why do i feel so fucking hurt. She was never mine" i shake my head

"Come here" she says hugging me tightly.

"I want you to forget about this for now and get ready for the show okay? We're going to head to the venue in half an hour so you better pack your stuff back in the bus" she says pulling me up

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