Exuberance Is Beauty (Book 1)

Chapter 5

"My life in Sellwood has already been destroyed."

"Eve. The other thing is that Jeff's very influential now."

"What do you mean?"

"For one, he's on the board at the Sellwood Moreland Improvement League. He's worked with the city on all sorts of projects for the neighborhood."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Really Carmen. I wouldn't call that influential. A position on a neighborhood board?"

"Well he's seen to it that money has gone into the community. Improvements to the parks, a pool at Sellwood Park. He's working to get the mayor re-elected."

"So, what does that have to do with me?"

"Eve, I just think it's better if you don't run the chance of seeing him. I didn't like the way he treated you and I don't understand the letters he wrote to you. I will never trust him. I'm afraid if he knew you were there, the whole thing would start over again."

She'd hit a nerve. "Oh Carmen! Is that really what you think of me?"

"He's so arrogant. Harry stood up to him, put him in his place. Now, Harry's run into him a few times in the neighborhood and I can tell you, Jeff's not intimidated anymore. That's not to say Harry wouldn't stand up to him."

"Really! Is that what you think of me? I made a mistake. I know it was wrong. But, do you really think I'd do that again?" We were still under an apple tree at the edge of the orchard. The weather had changed and a few raindrops were falling here and there. Carmen kept her gaze on me and didn't disguise that what I was saying was exactly what she thought.

"Eve, be honest with yourself."

"Carmen. Mary and Frank know of a house for me, here in Bend. With Frank's help I can buy it. It used to be a farm with large space for a garden. I could start a flower business again. I want to be here with Mary and Frank. I've met a few friends."

"I don't know about living alone out here. Especially with a baby. I wouldn't want to, I know that much. But, I completely agree that Bend is your home now. I miss you like crazy but you can't come back. I've even come around to the idea of selling your house, although it breaks my heart."

"Maybe a nice family will move in. A new best friend" I joked.

Carmen's face remained serious, "He's walked by the house a few times. I've kept myself out of sight when I've seen him. I don't want anything to do with him."

"Whose house?"

"Your house in Sellwood."

"Well he lives nearby."

"Not that near. He'd have to go out of his way. I've seen him stand and look for a long minute or two."

"Carmen. I'm not sure what you're suggesting. But please forgive me and let it go."

"He makes me sick to my stomach. I've seen him walking by with his little girl on his shoulders. She looks about two now. And, sometimes he's even walking with his wife, the odd thing that she is."

I couldn't help but laugh. That's what our friend Kitty had always said about Jeff's wife. "I can hear Kitty now, 'That Mrs. Lambert, she is the oddest woman I've ever seen! Practically a girl is more like it, I'd say.'" Kitty would bat her long eyelashes and take a dramatic drag from her cigarette. Then she'd continue 'Really girls. How can a man that looks like that marry such a boring looking woman!' Of course Kitty had no idea that I'd been carrying on with him. Carmen and I would grow uneasy, not just because I was having an affair with Jeff but because our friend could be so cruel in her gossip.