Exuberance Is Beauty (Book 1)

Chapter 5

She stood for just a moment. Not turning to head back, "Eve what are you going to do about the house in Sellwood? I'm happy to keep managing things if you want to hold on to it. But, it doesn't sound like you're coming back." Her black hair was back up in its neat yet somehow glamorous style; black victory rolls held up with silver pins. She it held back as she did on special occasions. Her eyes were the same emerald color I remembered. She was my closest friend. I'd known her since childhood. She was the one always goading me into doing things I wasn't supposed to, teaching me curse words, writing love letters never to be sent. Then, when she became a teenager, this beautiful and exotic girl appeared. It must have been her style. It was within the limits of respectable but she always had a flair that made her exciting and sophisticated. It was funny that she married Harry who was so much like Frank. Practical. It dawned on me as I saw her there, her wool coat wrapped tightly around her body, she had grown up. I had not, not until Charlie. I realized my carrying on with Jeff had been childish. Carmen, on the other hand, had accepted and shouldered the responsibilities of being an adult. I felt shame rush through me. That interminable hurt that couldn't be healed because it was the truth.

"Charlie looks just like Jeff." She said out of the blue. I felt my face grow flush and a panic rush over me.

"He does?"

"You know he does."

"I don't care."

"You shouldn't care. Why should you? You don't owe anything to the man. He doesn't have any claim on Charlie what-so-ever." She said "what-so-ever," in her emphatic Carmen way. End of discussion. She paused and let a breath of air out. A little cloud of condensation escaped and then dissipated. "I imagine he hasn't bothered you since Mary and Harry set him straight?"

"No."

"That's good."

I looked back over the land I'd soon cultivate. My garden plots were not for something practical like the rest of the farmland, but something created just for beauty's sake. I wondered if that too was more of my selfishness.

"Eve?" Carmen interrupted my thoughts, "That's good, isn't it?"

"What's good?" I turned to her and took a deep breath.

Her eyes were examining me with concern. "Look. I'm sure it's not as simple as I'm making it. I'm sure it's not."

"Of course it's good. I really don't want him in my life. It's been five months."

"No letters since Charlie was born. Truthfully?"

"No."

"Honestly Eve. That's a relief. He scared me. I don't know why but he really did. Maybe it's just that he was so different than everyone we knew. And, the way he treated you. Anyway, five months is long enough to know it's over." She paused and took my hands in hers. "Listen, I've been thinking about it. Don't come back to Sellwood. I don't think you should. Let Frank handle the house. Just stay away. Frank said he can manage the sale without going there. I'll list the house. Frank will be none the wiser about what happened in Sellwood and you'll avoid getting tangled back up with Jeff Lambert."

"What about my things, Carmen? I grew up there. I have to say goodbye to my old life. Besides, if I went back it would only be for a day or two. I wouldn't go out anywhere. Your house is right next door to mine. No one would even know I'm in town."

"Eve don't."

"Why Carmen?"

"If anyone saw you. Say Kitty stopped by my house? Everything would be over for you there. You know as well as I do, she'd devour a bit of gossip about Jeff Lambert and she wouldn't care if it was at your expense. Somehow he'd get wind of it."