Twisted Frame (VA Fanfic)

Three: Still Motion or Action? Both.

DPOV
I shook my head. I couldn't go in that door. I couldn't see her. I was barely holding onto my sanity, I was sure to crumble if I stepped in that room. My punishment was the year's biggest understatement. It was my damnation. I couldn't do it. My actions had nearly killed her more than once. I had almost killed my. Own. Daughter! Violent sobs of guilt and remorse threatened to break free of my chest. Almost killing Rose had been one thing, wanting to kill her had been another thing. But this? Nearly taking my daughter's life was the ultimate sin. I stood no chance. "No," I choked. "I- I- I can't. I just... I just can't."

The tears spilled as I looked through the tiny glass pane and spotted the incubator with tubes connecting my daughter to machines that were keeping her alive. All around her Moroi nurses were monitoring and working tirelessly to keep everything in perfect balance. When I finally caught sight of her I was taken aback by her size. She appeared as fragile and delicate as I felt. She was so tiny I was sure she would blow away with the next wind gust. How was anyone so tiny? She had to weigh less than a kilo and if I got to hold her she would fit in my hands, maybe even just the one. Rose's silver ring I suspected was charmed was likely to make an armband.

"She's yours, Belikov, undeniably yours. She looks like you and has traces of both your DNA and Rose's," Janine explained. I wanted to explode with the thought of why so many Moroi were crowded around her. My eyes darted between my surrounded daughter, Janine and Abe.
"They aren't experimenting on her, are they?" I growled. "Tell me they aren't testing my baby girl like a lab rat!" I begged.

I knew what it felt like to be treated as less than human, more or less, to be tested on. I hated it, no matter how much I understood the need. But that was exactly the point; I. Knew. My daughter was a vulnerable, unsuspecting preemie with her life hanging in the balance. They couldn't take advantage of her like that.
It made me sick to my stomach. I wouldn't let them treat my baby like an animal, exploit her as if she were an object they owned.

"We tried, Belikov, you have to believe me," Abe reasoned. But I was beyond all and any measure of reason.
"Dimitri, for Rose's sake, don't be irrational. Don't storm in there. You're still on rocky ground," Janine attempted.
"Take me to her—Roza, take me to my baby's mother." I worked to keep my breathing steady and to calm down. It took everything in me to walk away from my daughter so I didn't hurt one of the people saving her life and end up back in jail.

When we changed wards I barely registered we'd moved from the NICU to the ICU. That was until I was the only one approaching her side. The monitors around her rivalled our daughter's. I never realised how much I'd wanted a child with her until now where our daughter's life could be snatched away at any second.
I let my eyes wander over her body, inspecting the damage. She was far too pale, for starters. She'd clearly lost a lot of blood—not that the blood transfusion wasn't a giveaway. Her hair was all tangled and matted, and not in a windswept or sex-hair sense. She had cuts and scratches everywhere. There was a gash to her forehead, judging by the bandage encircling it and the fact there was a light bloodstain on it. One eye appeared swollen shut and bruising. Her left leg was in a cast. The last thing I let myself process seeing was both of her forearms being wrapped in bandages. What had she done? Oh, Roza... Oh my sweet Roza, what have I done to you?

I took the seat by her head and took her hand in mine. The nurse looked at me oddly but I just ignored it. Who wasn't looking at me with indescribable expressions now? I had to have spent a good twenty minutes in silence with my thumb caressing the back of her right hand, praying and hoping she'd wake up and get better for our daughter... our unnamed daughter. I couldn't let her go nameless for longer than necessary. But, was it my place to name her? Especially with Rose's life hanging in the balance? Was it right for me to name her alone? I certainly didn't want to name her without Rose's input.