Feel Real

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen 

It was the last night in the hospital and a weird mix of excitement and anxiety filled the air. Tomorrow morning we rise at the same time as everyone else, eat breakfast like everyone else, but don't go to group therapy. We separately visit a doctor who will deem us healthy enough to be checked out and then we go visit our therapist for the last time. We spend an hour with our therapist alone, talking about whatever we feel needed, and then we spend thirty minutes with our therapist and family discussing what will happen once we're out.

Even though we will no longer be patients living at the facility, we're all expected take our medication and come back to the hospital for one-on-one therapy with our therapist every week until it's determined no longer needed. If we act out, we can be checked back into the hospital against our will. 

All of the last stuff is typical stuff. Rachael believes I will have no problem taking my medication and visiting her once a week. She even believes we might be able to go to twice a week after the first couple of visits. Although I'm doing fine, I feel a little sad when Rachael says I might not have to come in as much. I really like Rachael. She too has helped me discover myself.

As I take my last bite of my last dinner at the hospital I sigh. 

"Last dinner at the hospital, no more lunches, and one more breakfast," Daniel says. I can feel all the patients eyes on us, wishing they were leaving tomorrow with us. I hope the hospital will still have a hopeful feel with Sammy, Daniel, and I gone. I really hope so. Everyone deserves to get better.

"What should we do tonight?" I ask. "I feel like we should do something special, something to remember everything that had happened here."

"How about a tour?" Sammy suggests. "We walk around and if we have a story to tell about a certain place we tell it."

"I like it," I say.

"I like it, too," Daniel says smiling. He takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. 

After dinner we go back to our rooms to pack like we were told to do. Sammy and I pack in silence. We're given the whole evening to pack even though we have minimal items to bring home. The clothes we wear everyday belong to the hospital, the soap and shampoo belong to the hospital, the tooth paste and tooth brushes belong to the hospital. I have a few books and magazines I never finished and Sammy has a collection of books.

Sammy sniffles and says, "This feels a lot more damn depressing than when I entered." She chuckles.

"I agree. When I moved in I was defiant. Now, I've changed. This place has grown on me."

"I'm just glad that we get to go home together."

"Me too."

Sammy turns to face me, tears in her eyes. A tear rolls down my cheeks, surprising me as it drops onto my chest. I open my arms and Sammy walks into them, pressing her body close to mine. We wrap each other's arms around each other. 

"I love you, Casey King," Sammy says. "I'm so blessed to have you as my best friend."

I choke on my words, tears streaming down my face. I can feel the warmth of Sammy's tears falling on my shoulder. "I love you, Sammy. You're my sister, I don't care what DNA says."

Sammy chuckles at my comment but doesn't let go. We cry into each other, silently remembering all the memories made in this room. All the nights we stayed up way too late talking about whatever came to mind. All the mornings spent getting ready. All the times Sammy watched me get ready for my outings with Daniel. This room alone had memories that could be talked about for ours upon ours. But we weren't going to share those aloud, those memories were all ours.