chapter 16-can you really know

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one year later

Jess pov-

I sit in my small lounge room it turns out the apartment was also fully furnished and all I have to pay is the $200 rent and $50 water and electricity bill, it's my dream home.

but something is missing

yeah him

I swear I think I'm bi-polar because this weird voice is driving me nuts.

but I guess the voice is right I've tried moving on but it hurts to much even thinking about some one else.

on the plus side I decided to make some new friends. everyday I go down to my local café and drink coffee with Susan, caity and sue they have already started university and I'm joining them in three weeks

but no happiness will be as good as him

"fucking hell" I growl unable to get over him.

it's been a year why must love hurt and ache and just why.

just try to ignore him for five minutes

my inner voices pleads with me,I sigh and being tell myself my lines "my name is Jessica dillion I am 18 years old and I'm starting uni in three weeks, my mother is a famous producer now ,her and my father are back together and I was pantsed when I was 17" I open my eyes and everything seems to calm down inside my head.

I get up off the lounge and go into my room my room consists of a double bed in the middle of the room two bed side tables sit by it and a large walk in closet is in the corner and a massive bookshelf takes up the rest of the space sighing I take in the smell of books and lay back on my bed I pull out my art pad and ear phones.

and a song floods through my ear phones

stitches by Shaun Mendes ---->>>>

"I though that I've been hurt before, but no one's ever left me quite this sore, your words cut deeper than a knife, now I need someone to breathe me back to life"

sometimes this songs makes it better

"gotta a feeling that I'm going under but I know that I'll make it out alive , if I quit calling you my lover, move on ,you watch me beat it till I give it she keeps falling over my knees , and now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches, tripping over myself, and keep begging you come help,now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches"

yeah this makes me think of him but it makes me feel better

"just like a moth drawn to a flame, oh you let me in i couldn't sense The pain, your bitter heart cold to the touch now I'm gonna reap what I saw I'm left seeing red on my own"

you know that feeling of loss like you will have a hope in your heart for life

"gotta a feeling that I'm going under, but I know that I'll make it out alive if I quit calling you my lover, move on, you watch me beat it till I give in ,she keeps falling down to my knees now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches ,tripping over my self and keep begging you to come help ,now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches"

and this is my favorite part

"needle in the thread gotta get you outta my head needle in the thread gonna wine up dead, needle in the thread gotta get you outta my head needle in the thread gotta wine up dead needle in the thread gotta get you out of my head needle in the thread gonna wine up dead needle in the thread gotta get you outta my head get you outta my head"

I sing this song all the time I look Down to my paper and I see what I've drawn and as the song goes to the close the whole thing comes together

"you watch me beat it till I give in, she keeps falling down to my knees, now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches tripping over my self and keep begging you to come help now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches, now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches, I'll be needing stitches"

a picture of Jordan's face is across my paper and a tear rolls down my face "Where are you" I half whisper half cry.

do you think he misses me too. . .

I begin sobbing then the next song plays.

"it should've been us by tori kelly" God why is ever song making me think about him.

__________________________________

I hope you guys liked that because that took a lot if work it took me an hour to do that whole song because right I was going my ear so I had to back and forth on the song, good song though right I'm tagging the song in it so make sure you lo stem to it trust me u with know when.

love ya

Sharna xox

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