White Noise {Ayushiki AU}

Disposal

After our long and emotional conversation, we decided to finally eat our food. I glance at my food and looked at his. Although his food looked bigger in size than mine, it was still pretty small, compared to everyone else's snack. He had packed himself a simple cheese sandwich, while I had a few strawberries packed into my usual plastic container.

As we ate our lunch, I constantly thought about how Miki really died. When Yoshiki saved my life in the bathroom stall, he told me that Miki died with a knife in her hand, but this time, he told me that she hung herself. After holding the thought for a few minutes, I finally ask.

"So, in the bathroom, you told me that Miki stabbed herself."

"She tied her knife to her wrist and made cuts on her arm for one final time." He says quickly to avoid any more tears to flow. I remain silent for a few moments to calm him down, then the bell for the next period breaks the silence.
__

I wait for Yoshiki on the bench outside my house. The sky possessed a magnificent orange tint, accompanied by cumulus clouds and a late afternoon breeze. I knew that this was the perfect time to get rid of the knife.

By the trees, I see a shadow walking by. As it got closer I immediately knew who it was.

"Hey, Ayumi." He says across my lawn. I run to him and I give him a warm and welcoming hug.

"So, are you ready?" I ask.

"If you are,"
__

After our hug, I lead him to my balcony. Below is a dark alley, where no one sought to enter. The last time I have ever been up here was when my sister and mom were still alive.
"Not really a good place to have a balcony, right?" I say.
"I guess so!" Yoshiki replies jokingly.
"I haven't been up here in a while,"
"I'm not meaning to be rude, but it does seem like it."
"It's no problem, really. The last time I was up here was when my sister told me about what she was doing in school. She made tea and saltine crackers and we ate on that table." I say, pointing to the white patio table in the corner.
"You know, my sister and I used to go to coffee shops when we were younger, when I still lived under my parent's roof. She was too young to drink coffee, so we always got her a chocolate milk and a bagel. God, I miss her." He replies. "But, the knife, Ayumi."

I grabbed the knife from my bag as I analyzed the five o'clock sky. I felt the breeze passing through my hair and I clutched onto the knife with my sweaty palms. I look up at Yoshiki and he returns a determined nod. I then clutch harder onto the knife, making my hands even more full of sweat. As I approach the white bars that are seperating me and the chance of falling, I look down, realizing that once I drop it, it's over. A new chapter will begin, the previous one will end, the road to recovery will be ever so possible. I look down once more, with the breeze leading my hair to my face. My hands start to shake as my mind tells me to drop it. I slowly release the stress of the grip of my hand to the knife. Slowly, my hand gets more and more relaxed, then, each of my numb fingers start to move away from one another. Then, I watch the killing machine quickly drop to the concrete below me.

"You did it." Yoshiki says quietly. "Yeah, I did." I respond in the same volume. "It's over," I add. "Wait a second," Yoshiki interrupts, "I didn't hear it drop." I take a second to analyze his statement, "That's impossible." I say.
"Then, what could have happened?" He asks.
"Well, it could have landed on something, uh, soft?"
"I doubt it."
"Well then, what happened?"
"I don't know, but we're going to have to go down there."
My eyes widen in confusion, "Wait, are you serious?"
"Yeah, I just want to make sure that thing is gone for good."
"No one has been down there. Ever."
"Ayumi, there's a first for everything. We're going down there."
I take a minute to make up my mind. But I knew I had no choice, he was going to pull me down there no matter what. "Fine." I oblige. "But how are we going to get there?"
"You haven't been paying attention in climbing class, have you?" He says jokingly, followed by a chuckle.
"Alright, fine. Let's go."
__

Yoshiki and I arrive at the gate beside my house seperating the people from the darkness.
I weird feeling enters my stomach, implying that this was not a good idea. "You know what, Yoshiki, we should just go. For the most part, it's gone and a new chapter has begun."
After a minute he finally responded, "Alright, fine. And you're right, it's gone."
I smile at him and I grab hold of his arm and I lean my head on it. "Thanks." I say softly.
"Of course." He replies.

And thus, a new chapter begins.