White Noise {Ayushiki AU}

Marionette

It's 6 o' clock. The alarm clock on the desk near my bedroom sounds its deafening chime to wake me up. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to face another day of pretending to be someone I'm not. I don't want to live another moment in this world. But I have to. I sat up from my bed and examined my bare feet and the scars on my shin. I hid those scars with my black socks, being precautious of them gently falling down. I looked at the scars near my wrist, where I cut the most. The scars are still dark red from the day before this one. Luckily, my school uniform top has sleeves, which successfully covers them each day.

I finally stood up from my bed, leaving the sheets and pillows misplaced from where they usually were. I started to prepare my bath and I stripped off my white loose tank top and its matching shorts. I insert my right foot into the warm, bubbly bath and my scars stung as usual. I eventually got used to the heat and I placed my body into the steaming, pink-ish bath caused by the soap I used. I lay down into the bath and I start to wonder; what would happen if I met someone who would change my life forever? What if mom and Hinoe didn't die from that shooting in Tokyo? What would happen if I left this world today? I reach for my pocket knife. It's about 6 inches long and it cuts deeply into skin. I start to slice my skin on my left wrist open, tiny drips of blood gushing out from my skin, staining the pink water with sections of light red. Then I think twice about the first thought that I encountered in this bath. What would happen if I met someone who would change my life forever? Maybe. Just maybe.

Once I was done with my bath, I dressed into my uniform and I looked at the tall mirror near my closet. You're so ugly. What the fuck is with your breasts? Why are you so goddamn short? Who do you think would marry you? These were the thoughts that float around my brain every time I would look into a mirror and see my own reflection. I wanted to cut with my knife. I really wanted to. But I just couldn't. The thought I had in the bath haunts me again at this very moment. Then I look at my school I.D. "Ayumi Shinozaki. 2-9 Class Rep. Kisaragi Academy." it says. I pin the I.D. to my skirt and I look at the mirror once again with the same thought. What would happen if I met someone who would change my life forever? I take a deep sigh and I walk away from the mirror.

As I opened the main door in my room, I looked back at my wide window that showed the beautiful pink sky that hid behind all the tall buildings and homes. Birds flew gracefully in front of the sun and I just couldn't help but think of how happy those birds are compared to me. I really don't want to think about that, but I did. One bird looked like the decal I had on my wall. It's wings are spread and its beak was closed and it looked like it was soaring through the sky of dawn. It was beautiful. Just like life could've been for me.

I arrived at school just in time, and I grabbed my books for English class with my favorite teacher, Miss Yui. She was a loveable, sweet, kind, smart and a motivating teacher. Heck, everyone loved her. She made me feel like a new person.

Today's lesson wasn't that exciting like the rest she's done. I tried my best to stay awake through it, and it felt like there were cinder blocks attached to my eyelashes preventing me from keeping my eyes open. I ended up putting my head down through the whole thing.

As I was getting ready for second period, I spotted Satoshi Mochida, probably the cutest boy in Kisaragi for sure. He never noticed me and he has a girlfriend, Naomi Nakashima. She has short brown hair, big breasts and a cute face and personality that Satoshi loved. I looked back at the direction of my locker to get my books for the next period, then when I turned around I saw him and Naomi kissing passionately in the crowded halls. I wanted to cry and cut again, but the bell that queued the second period rang and I had to go.

This day was like no other. There was the bad, then came the worst.